Boys Are Frustrating
by Agrabah's Princess
Summary: Willa has her own story with Seth, and its a difficult one. Here's how they finally work everything out. SethOC, picks up from chapter 30 of To Be Without. Rating may change.
1. My Life of Ignorance

AN: Willa's story! I know a lot of you guys have been waiting for this, so here it is! I hope you like it, its gonna be a lot like To Be Without in that POV will mostly be Willa with a few snippets from Seth. Yes, another chapter for To Be Without will be out soon!

Chapter One

My Life Of Ignorance

When I was eight, all the girls in my class ganged up on me when the cutest boy in class told me I was pretty. I didn't go to school on the Reservation because I had already tried to make friends there and failed miserably, I had no real friends in the class so when I was pelted with wads of gum during recess no one stood up for me. I wasn't a bitch like I am now so I went running to the school nurse instead of ripping off their kneecaps. The nurse tried to calm me down, but all I wanted was my dad. She tried calling my dad, but he wasn't available and Emily was on the Makah Reservation so they had to call Seth.

He showed up ten minutes later, his face was deep red in anger and he had a yelling match with my teacher and the principle about having the girls expelled for what they did. They both told him it was too harsh a punishment for ten girls, especially when there was no actual proof they did it. Seth left and five minutes later came back with three boys, with quaking knees and they told the principle and teacher that they saw the girls throwing the balls of chewed gum at me from the playground.

The look on the faces of all the girls when they were told they were expelled was better than when they were forced to apologize to me. Seth was gritting his teeth the whole time the girls were in the room. The nurse and Seth spent an hour getting the gum out of my long espresso hair and in the end, I had to loose over half of my hair. I cried the whole time the nurse was cutting my hair as Seth held me. I had been growing my hair out since I was five and it was grazing my bottom when I lost it. When I finally stopped crying I looked up at Seth to thank him when I saw tears in his eyes.

I figured it all out from there.

My whole life I talked freely about the pack and their big secret with them, so I knew about imprinting. And it didn't take me long from that day to see the truth. Seth had imprinted on me.

It all made sense. He was always there for me no matter how out of his way it was. Once I got homesick on a field trip to Seattle in second grade and he drove four hours to spend the rest of the day with me. He always kept me happy on my birthday when I was disappointed when my mother didn't come home. Up until the day I turned fourteen I never forced any answers out of Seth about the truth of it all.

I think that was the day I just snapped. I had always gotten myself into trouble, but it just kind of followed me, but on my fourteenth birthday I started looking for it. My hormones had been raging for over a year and watching all of the other werewolves and their imprints were making me sick, knowing Seth wouldn't even talk about the subject with me. I stopped hanging around him and when I started high school because I became the new Willa. No more quiet and stoic, but bitchy and down right angry. Because it was easier for me to live that way, to hurt everyone before they hurt me.

I could see it hurt Seth, and it made me almost proud of myself as sick and twisted as it was. He frustrated me and Seth could not be frustrated easily, unlike myself, so I hurt him instead. The look on his face the first time he saw me with a boy, you would have guessed he had just seen a baby be run over by a semi, and that's when I knew how to make him suffer for making me suffer.

Two years of numerous boys and just as many life-threatening situations and he was no closer to telling me anything. I always figured one of the nights I wandered around with suspicious characters from midnight until daybreak he would snap and I might actually get something out of him. But he would always slap on an entirely fake smile and joke about creatures of the night. He was the best liar of pack. He was the only one that had been able to except everything I did, even though I did it to piss him off.

Once more, Seth Clearwater found a way to frustrate me more than anyone else ever has.

In a way, Seth kept me from falling apart as I turned into a teenager without a mother. I was so wrapped up in making Seth suffer, I didn't care so much about her absence. That was, until Claire came back.

I hated her. Dad just fell all over her and I was disgusted. Everyone seemed to clamor over my long lost sister, even Seth took time out of his 'irritated me to death' schedule to spend time with her. I wanted to scalp her in her sleep. Then I actually met my mother. She was beautiful, the pictures couldn't do her justice but she was also ridiculously narrow-minded and it all fell into place. Why she took Claire. Why Seth never told me the truth. Why my dad was devastated.

It was all my mothers fault. Not Claire's. If she didn't flip out and leave with Claire, Dad would be happy with her, Claire would be happy with Quil and I'd be happy with Seth. But she ruined everything, for all of us.

When I told Dana she seemed more apologetic that she wasn't here for me rather than jealous that I got to see our mother. She has always been that way, more worried about me and Dad rather than herself.

It let me understand Claire more. She's just like Dad, only she doesn't want to put people off right off the bat. Its pretty fucking scary when the sister that doesn't remember you father is more like you father than you are. It's pathetic too.

Dana continued to plead with me, to let off Claire and actually try to be sisters with her. If she wasn't away at school I knew she would be here trying her hardest to keep me and Claire in the same room for more than five minutes. So, when I got that stupid pregnancy scare, I asked her to come.

I didn't want Dana to know, I knew she would be disappointed with me if she did, and everyone else would just tell Dad, so I took my chance with Claire and she did a lot better than I hoped. She didn't ask too many questions and she didn't try to chide me for my actions. That was probably when I realized she wasn't that bad of a big sister. Then, the vampire appearance threw us all for a loop.

We were taken into the protective custody of werewolves and friendly vampires with little understanding of what exactly was going on, which is basically what happens every time a bloodsucker shows up. I sulked and grumbled about it until I went home with Jasper and got the news about my once pregnancy.

When you find out you had a baby and lost it, it takes the wind out of you, makes you numb all over. You want to miss what you lost, but you never had a chance to be happy you had it. That just fucked me up more. But, I got over it a lot sooner than I thought I would, thanks to Seth.

I probably shouldn't have announced what happened in such a crude way, but I was angry and upset. Seth looked like he was going to puke and that actually made me feel better, for a second until he tried to comfort me. I stormed out of the house like I always do, muttering to myself about stupid werewolves when Claire caught up to me.

The girl, who had been freaking out about losing Quil, had just left him for me. That was when I realized she was a great big sister. I wouldn't say it out loud for a while, but I didn't hate her anymore. It's hard to hate someone that sacrifices what they want for you. Seth doesn't count here because he's such an infernal ass.

So, I told her what I knew to be true. What no one would ever speak of. She looked upset, she looked crushed. We probably would have walked all the way home if Alice hadn't come, boy did I want to kill that little cretin. We were shipped home and I started cursing werewolves from that moment until I passed out. I didn't care who was listening I was beyond pissed and still ridiculously hormonal.

Then Claire took matters into her own hands. Jasper had gone, they probably figured out there were no more vampires, and left me with no back up. I could have easily asked him to throw Seth out when he came into the house five minutes after Claire, but I was on my own.

His head was hanging as he walked in the back door, and I just start yelling from there, without thinking because being a bitch is second nature now.

"You've got some nerve Clearwater!" I yelled angrily.

His head seemed to drop even lower before he dared to look up at me with those big, sad, black eyes.

"Don't give me those damn puppy dog eyes! They're not gonna save you!" I snapped.

His eyes dropped down to my feet.

"Are you going to say anything?" I demanded disgusted. "Maybe why you've been a jackass this whole time!?" I offered harshly.

"I-" I stopped him to moment he started trying to say that word because I knew exactly what he was going to try and say in his defense and I didn't want to hear it.

"YEAH! YOU!" I shrieked as my eyes started to fill with tears. He winced, I knew it had nothing to do with the volume of my voice. "It's always about you!" I yelled, my tears starting to fall thickly. "You never answered my questions because _you_ didn't want too!" I sneered as the out pour of tears slid down my cheeks and wet my shirt.

He tried to reach out to me, to comfort me. I jumped away from him with a vicious glare. I knew that would hurt him more than my tears and it was still feeling good to hurt him. I stalked upstairs and into my room, before I could slam the door behind me, it was stopped by another hand. I spun around to see Seth in my doorway.

I screamed and in my fury grabbed my lighter bedside table and chucked it at his head. He ducked of course and it hit the wall behind him, making a nice hole in the wall. Dad was going to blow a gasket over that.

I was shaking, as I usually did whenever I got so angry I started to throw things. "Unless you've got something to say for your self you better leave now." I growled dangerously, glaring daggers at him.

He thought for a long moment before finally saying something. "You weren't supposed to get hurt." He murmured, his normally cheerful voice full of sorrow. Truth be told, I hate it when he's sad because he's always the one I can count on to be happy.

"Well that blew up in your face didn't it?!" I asked laughing bitterly.

His body tensed in pain again, another sharp hit to his sensitive spot, me. "Imprints can just be friends." He said weakly.

"I never needed a friend Seth, I needed someone I knew would never leave! The least you could have done was tell me that!" I bellowed with more tears starting to form just thinking of all the times that simple statement would have soothed me.

I reached back into my room and grabbed my door and yanked it shut. I heard the wood splinter and saw it hang from the bottom hinge from the corner of my eye as I forced myself passed him and back down the stairs. I needed an easy escape from him if he kept up with his shit.

A flare of frustration flashed through his eyes and I could tell I was really starting to break him. "What are you going to do? Runaway again, hide at your boyfriends house?" He asked as he followed me down the stairs, spitting the words as he said them.

I made it halfway through the dining room when I spun and looked at him. "Maybe I am Clearwater." I seethed through my clenched jaw. "Maybe I'm going to go out and become a hooker just too fucking spite you and you're fucking plans!" I yelled vehemently.

"Why do you have to fight everyone?" He asked tiringly. That bastard doesn't get to play victim after getting eight years of chances to fix this whole mess.

I snapped. I picked up the chair from the dining room table and threw it at him. It hit him and shattered, as well as sending him a foot backward and breaking the hall closet door he slammed into. "You lied to me, my whole life, I get to fight with you!" I screamed frustrated, pulling at my hair as I did.

"It was for your own good!" He yelled back. Normally, I would have been excited to finally get him yelling at me, but it just fueled my fire to get back at him.

That sentence brought on my tears again, just being reminded that he actually did care about me was making me loose my determination. "What's the point of lying to me when I know the truth?!" I sobbed loudly, my chest racked with cries.

"I'm trying to keep you safe!" He roared, with two of his own tears sliding down his perfect cheek bones.

"Well you've done a piss poor job of that!" I cried out as I tried to breath through more tears, only to fail miserably and started to sob again.

I've seen a lot of those 'run over by a bus' looks of pain cross his face before, but the one that he gave me after I said that had to be the worst. He didn't even try to counter that flat out lie and turned and walked out the back door.

The breath was knocked out of my lungs as the door slid shut behind him, and I had to fight back tears of sadness instead of anger for the first time in a long time. When it came to Seth at least.

Claire came back in a minute later and pointed out how much of an idiot I was being, not that I needed it, I already knew. I packed and left her with a few simple instructions and a warning not to touch my room and got into my Mustang and drove for his house.

Seth had a tiny little cabin in the woods that no one ever went to because he was rarely ever there. I used to use it as a party place before Dad caught me, so I know the area well enough not to get lost. The little cabin was empty when I got there twenty minutes later. I let myself in and got comfortable, because I knew Seth was just as stubborn and as broken as I was and it was going to be a while before he came back to face anything.

I put in a movie just for noise and started to pick up because there was nothing else to do. All I would be able to do while I waited for my idiot werewolf was clean and watch movies. I wanted to yell at him all over again for leaving me with such little entertainment opportunities, but I nixed the idea. I wanted him to come back so I could force myself through an apology, not send him back into the woods for being a little brat again.

I'm better at being a brat than I am at giving apologizes. Hopefully, I can change for this one time.

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	2. Mine Now

AN: Hello! This took a little while since there was such little dialogue to fill up the chapter, but I hope you like it! Thank you for the reviews!

Chapter Two

Mine Now

I lasted about an hour before I started pacing Seth's tiny home. I lasted another hour of pacing before I started deep cleaning. He was still fixing the place up, so the windows still had tape on them from when he bought them and the floor boards still needed to be nailed to the wall. Since I was still so agitated from the whole day, I worked for hours.

The floor boards were on.

The curtains were hung.

The hole in the roof was plastered.

The tiny kitchen was painted.

I would have waxed the hard wood floors if my idiot werewolf actually had some floor wax in the house.

When most of the visible projects were finished I cleaned up the mess I made.

Then when the floors were swept and mopped, the windows were sparkly, the trash bins were loaded with shit and the kitchen was free of tape.

It was one in the morning and I was still wired and Seth still wasn't home. I started moving the furniture around.

I might only be a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet but I know how to haul it around to move furniture.

The dining room was to the left of the entry and the living room to the right. The dining room table was fine where it is, so I didn't move that. The couch and two recliners in the living room were placed awkwardly on the walls, so I moved them all around so they were all facing the fire place and actually hung up all of the posters he had framed for his place.

He's had this place for years and he still hasn't taken the time to actually do anything with it.

Another thing he does that pisses me off, he hardly ever does anything for himself.

Once I was done with the living area, I wasn't quite ready to go near the bathroom, I decided to work on his bedroom. The bed room is a loft over the kitchen and dining room that looks over the living room. Since it's so small there is only a king size box spring and one bedside table as well as a few pieces of wood that are supposed to assemble to make a bed frame.

I stopped and looked at the pieces of wood. I could put it together, it would be hard and I might break something and if I did Seth would be irritated. He seems to think I am a dainty little girl that couldn't move a glass of water without help, so if he comes back to find his solid wood bed frame completely put together with only me in the house, he might get all upset.

Then again, if I don't keep my hands busy I will go crazy and destroy the house, then I'll build it all over again. So, he's just gonna have to deal with me building the bed he's never gotten around to building.

It took hours to actually get the frame standing but the screws still weren't tight and I had to get the box spring in before I could tighten them all the way. I was actually starting to get tired as the sun started to rise. The mattress was propped up against the wall so, I couldn't sleep on that, and finishing it was out of the question because I was so tired I would fuck something up. I resigned myself to sleep on the couch.

I changed into one of Seth's shirts, his black muscle shirt that fitted so nicely on him, and lay down on the couch with his comforter. The love seat was big enough to fit my five-foot-three frame with a lot of room to spare. Sometimes, its nice being skinny.

I was still buzzing from left over energy but being cuddled in the blankets was soothing and I fell asleep within half an hour.

When I woke up the next morning nothing was different. The traps I set up on the windows and doors, syrup and Pam, hadn't been disturbed so Seth was still out sulking in the woods.

I grew more impatient by the minute.

I mean, I couldn't have hurt him _that_ bad, he was just being over dramatic!

Oh who was I joking? I was a cold hearted bitch, he's not coming back for a few days, if ever. And the screwed up part is it's not even because of what I said, it's because of what he did, did to me. Fucked up, right? He's like the biggest masochist ever.

I cleaned up my traps and started moving for the bathroom, then stopped.

No woman had stepped foot in that bathroom for months. It was pure bachelor territory. It would most likely be disgusting. I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed a rag and cleaning solution and opened the bathroom door wearily.

Instead of finding the bathroom coated in germs, I found it half finished! The sink wasn't even hooked up. The shower was half tiled and the head was dangling from the wall and the curtain rod wasn't up.

The toilet however, was fine, thank the heavens. I gave it a good wipe down before I used it then started working on the bathroom. I needed a shower and the shower needed to be finished.

I fixed the shower head first, it wasn't all that hard. Then the shower curtain, again very simple task. I left the hardest for last. I hate tiling, I've done it before as a summer job and I was good, but I hated it. It was tedious and if you screwed up you had a lot of work to fix it.

It took me an hour to finish all the tiles in the bathroom, and another twenty minutes to thoroughly clean it. Once that was taken care of I took a leisurely shower, not having to worry about using all of the hot water, since there was no one else to use it.

After my shower I changed and started doing laundry. Its common knowledge that Seth hates doing laundry and would rather just buy new clothes than to actually wash them and by the looks of things, he hasn't washed anything in two or three months.

I separated everything, then I had to split those piles in half and they were still almost too big for the washer. I tried not to get pissy and focus on the laundry, not on the fact that Seth is a lazy a-hole!

This is never going to work.

I picked up my cell phone after I was able to crawl out of the depths of the laundry room and called Dana. She always knows how to set me straight.

"Alright Jelly Bean you've got twenty minutes until I get to class, go." She said sounding unfocused.

"I really hurt Seth and he left and now I'm staying at his place to wait for him, but the more I have to wait the angrier I get and by the time he gets back here I'm going to hurt him again and this cycle is never going to end." I explained hastily.

"Think about everything you want to talk to him about, get it all straight in your head and find a way to say it, not scream it." She answered quickly and knowingly.

"What if that doesn't work? I'm almost done fixing his house, there's nothing else to hold my attention." I countered quickly.

"Try and steal cable from the bears." She offered sarcastically. "I know this is new for you Willa, but its time for you to suck up everything and be selfless, just imagine how he's feeling right now." She said sternly, her chiding-motherly tone kicking in.

I thought about it for a second. Just thinking about what it would be like to have him act that way toward me for so long with the feelings he has made my heart twist uncomfortably. "That's depressing and mean." I mumbled.

"Exactly," She said knowingly. "The next time you start getting angry, think about everything he's going through." She ordered.

"Alright," I muttered defeatedly.

"Good luck Jelly Bean, call me after you see him." She said hopefully.

"'Kay," I said tiringly.

"Bye," She said sweetly.

"Bye," I repeated weakly. The line went dead seconds later.

It's pathetic how well she is at laying the guilt trips on me.

So I did what she said, every time I started getting angry I thought about what he was going through. I cried a few times, well tears leaked more like. I just wanted him back so I could apologize while I was capable of doing so. It's always been hard for me to apologize especially when I know I'm at fault.

It's a stupid flaw of mine. I get it from my father. And his father and all of the Asher males ever in history. It sucks.

So, I did the only thing I could do, laundry and clean and think about Seth's pain every time I got angry.

Hopefully it will keep me sane until he comes back…

Three days. That's how long he took before strolling back to his shack in the woods. Three-fucking-days alone in the middle of the forest with nothing but the animals and the bugs to keep me company.

He was so lucky he had that pained look on his face when he came in, because it reminded me that I wanted to apologize. Not kill him.

He was half naked and covered in dirt and new scars which alarmed me because they didn't get scars unless they had _really_ deep cuts. His hair was wild and clumped with leaves and specks of dirt. He had his hands in his pockets and a sad look on his face. "Hey," He mumbled.

I opened my mouth to say something and I could taste a yell on my tongue. I stopped and thought about what I wanted to say. So, I tried to word another apology.

Didn't work, another scream-fest formed in my head. God, I really am a bitch.

He watched me the whole time, just waiting, his body already curled into a wincing position. I thought about the pain he was feeling and I felt tears prick my eyes and I ran at him.

I didn't hit him, or tackle him to the ground. I jumped on him and hugged him as tight as my tiny little arms could.

His arms caught me and held me just as tight. "I'm sorry I'm such a bitch." I muttered against his neck. He smelled like grass and river water. It was so very Seth.

"Wouldn't want you any other way." He whispered with a hint of happiness in his voice.

I unhooked my arms and legs from around him and he let me down and I looked up at him. "It's your own fault you could have avoided this whole mess if you actually told me when I found out, eight years ago." I said as a matter of factly.

"Forgive me, I wanted to try and give you a normal life." He said dryly.

"You idiotic wolf." I said shaking my head. "I'm friends with two vampires and a half human-half vampire cretin and let's not start on my werewolves. Normal was never in my cards." I counted off on my hands, giving him raised brow.

He thought it over for a minute before nodding. "Your right. I was wrong." He conceded with a little bow.

"Damn straight." I said proudly. It's always nice to hear you're right when you know you are in fact, right.

He smiled and chuckled a little bit and I couldn't help but noticed how he quickly changed back to my old Seth with a simple laugh. He glanced from me for a second and to the kitchen and looked like he wanted to say something but was stunned by the fact that the kitchen was done. He surveyed the rest of his house and his jaw dropped a little more with every seconded. "What did you do to my house?" He asked in shock.

"I finished it." I said smiling.

"I leave for three days and you do months worth of work." He said surprisingly, looking at the walls and the floor boards.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? You don't have cable and your taste in movies sucks." I complained.

"Tell me you didn't put the bed together?" He asked seriously, looking up at the loft.

"Duh, it was done by the second morning." I answered defiantly.

"Willa! That's three hundred pounds of wood!" He yelled frustrated.

"Uh, all together!" I pointed out, yelling. Dana didn't say anything about yelling at him when he yelled at me first. That's my story and I'm sticking with it…

"Yeah, and you've had two hernia's since you were eight and the other two when you were younger. Would you like another two days in the hospital?" He asked deadpanned.

"I didn't give myself another hernia." I said rolling my eyes at his dramatist role. "Honestly, I learned from the other four." I said flippantly, waving my hand casually.

"I'd strangle you if I wouldn't miss you." He muttered as he stalked into the kitchen and started making something, rather roughly. Ah, it's always nice to frustrate him.

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	3. That Asher Girl

AN: HELLO! Here it is folks, the much awaited Seth chapter! It's all from his POV and there's a little bit of a glimpse of the past as well. I hope you all enjoy and yes, I'm still working on To Be Without, the next chapter will be out as soon as I get passed the writers block I seem to have one it. In the mean time, here is this new chapter and check out my new Twilight story, The Family Legacy. Enjoy! :D

Chapter Three

That Asher Girl

Everyone outside the pack thinks I have a normal life. Because no one thinks I imprinted. Since the pack isn't allowed to talk about it inside or outside of our wolf form, it's almost like it never happened. Even though it did.

I was pretty sympathetic to Quil, I mean, he did imprint on a two year old. When everything settled down with the Cullen's we were all left to our own devices. Everyone was able to focus on what they wanted. I finished high school and started college but I still ran with Jake and Leah a lot to keep the Rez safe.

See, I had spent a lot of time with Claire and Quil, but never with her sisters or her parents. So when we all descended on Sam and Emily's house for Christmas I knew I would get to meet her whole family and I got through five-year-old Dana and Jeff, but when I saw Hannah holding Willa it was instantaneous.

I imprinted on Willa. She was just a little over a year and a half old. She was so cute too. They were all adorable and really great kids. But Willa was mine.

After the party Quil took me aside and we started talking. He told me about how he was going to wait until she was sixteen to tell Claire and her parents the truth and he would help me break the news to them to when the time came. I didn't know if I would need it, it was years away and only time would tell.

Then Quil was attacked. Jacob and I were phased at the same time and we tried to get him to go to Sam's but he wouldn't listen, the only thing in his mind was Claire. Then he caused a mess with some hikers and we had to stop and clean that up, when got to him Claire had already found him and was covered in his blood.

We had to tell Hannah and Jeff the truth when they found Quil mauled to within and inch of his life and watched as his wounds healed before their eyes.

"What's going on?" Jeff demanded once the girls were in bed.

"The legends," Quil choked out painfully. His broken ribs where just starting to mend.

"What about them?" Jeff asked shortly.

"They're real." Quil answered gruffly.

"What?" Jeff growled.

"See, we turn into wolves to protect the lands from vampires." I explained quickly before Quil tried.

"You're kidding right?" Hannah laughed bitterly.

"You saw him heal." I said pointing to Quil's chest.

"How long have you been this way?" She ground out.

"Years," Quil said under his breath, looking down.

Hannah's brown eyes narrowed dangerously on both me and Quil. "You've known you could turn into a deadly animal at anytime and you still hung around my daughters." She spoke so quietly she was almost whispering but her voice was so full of hate there was no mistaking what she said.

"I imprinted on Claire." Quil said quickly.

"You did what did what to my daughter?" Jeff asked lowly.

"It's when our spirit finds its other half in another human." Quil said slowly.

"Like soul mates." I offered quickly.

Jeff threw a warning look at me and I slunk back a little. "So, my five year old is your soul mate?" He asked incredulously.

"Something like that." Quil mumbled, giving me a glare. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut there.

"Boy, are you out of your mind?!" Jeff yelled.

"Get out." Hannah hissed tensely.

"Hannah-" I tried to say desperately.

"NOW!" She screamed, pointing to the back door.

I was just starting to help Quil toward the door when the girls made their way downstairs, Dana standing at the head of the group with Willa clinging to her side and Claire looking over her shoulder. "Mamma," Claire said sadly, looking between Hannah and Quil.

"Back to bed, all of you!" She ordered, rushing up to them and scooped Claire up while forcing Dana and Willa up the stairs.

"Quil!" Claire cried out sadly, trying to reach for him, tears streaking her cheeks and her tiny body shaking.

Willa looked from around her mother's hip at me with wide and confused eyes, already filling with tears. All I wanted to do was plow Hannah out of the way and scoop Willa up. I had the feeling Quil was thinking the same thing.

"You best leave," Jeff said sternly.

We couldn't say anything. My heart was hammering in my chest and I knew they wouldn't listen to us anymore. I helped Quil out of the house and onto the road where Sam was waiting with his truck and we all piled in and took Quil back to Sam's place.

It was a rough night. Quil's rib had healed wrong so we had to re-break it and hold it in its proper place for three hours while it re-healed. A few stubborn slices opening up since there was so much damage, the more minor wounds didn't heal as fast. They still bled a lot.

Two days later when Quil could finally walk without help we both tried to go see Claire and Willa but Jeff told us they needed more time. He was more sympathetic and a lot calmer than the last time we saw him, and I was just grateful he didn't start shooting us with his shotgun.

We were going to wait until Jeff contacted us to come over and try to explain everything again, but the next morning he called damn near in tears. Hannah and Claire were gone and the only thing that was left was a note that said Hannah had to protect his daughter from us monsters.

We rushed over there and Claire was indeed gone. Quil went down hill from there. Her favorite Dora the Explorer blanket was missing and that was about it. All her books and toys were still in their normal spot, just waiting for her to come back. Quil didn't leave her room for a week. I tried to stay with him as much as possible. One, to help Quil and two, to be as close to Willa as possible.

I felt like a coward because I hadn't spoken up and told them that I imprinted on Willa as well, but Quil never blamed me. He seemed almost relieved that Willa didn't get taken as well. Jeff hardly ever let Willa and Dana out of his arms and rarely slept. I would sneak in to look at Willa while she slept, just to make sure she was really there and all the nightmares were fakes, and Jeff would be sitting on the floor between their beds. Emily took things pretty hard as well. There wasn't anyone on the Reservation that wasn't affected by Hannah and Claire's absence.

That was all I could think about the whole time I was in the woods. It happened every time I was away from Willa and as she got older I couldn't help but fear one day she would leave on her own accord and I'd never see her again. That's what I thought she would do when she confronted me about imprinting and that's why I didn't come back for three days.

Every time I convinced myself to go home I'd picture a note from Willa waiting for me on my front door telling me she couldn't take it anymore and she was leaving. I'd run for hours after that single thought. I even picked fights with a few bears to hide from it all. Quil phased twice during that time and told me she was still at my house, waiting for me.

A large part of me didn't believe him. It wasn't like Willa to wait for anyone so I really couldn't believe it was true. Three days later when I finally got the guts to find out the truth and went back home she was really there. She was waiting for me. I had to hide how happy I actually was when I saw how angry she was.

I easily spent the rest of that day working on my house with her. She didn't bring up anything about the fight or about imprinting the whole time. Even when we were on the roof to reseal the shingles and I figured she'd take the opportunity to shove me off the roof like she did when she was ten when she was sure I wouldn't get hurt. It was almost like when she when she was still a kid and all she wanted was to hang out with me.

I hated that she didn't have a lot of friends growing up. She tried her hardest to make friends, there were even times she did things she didn't want to just to try to get into a group. She stopped that when she was eight, she just stopped trying to make friends and no eight year old should ever be as depressed as she was. It killed me and I wanted to strangle every child that ever scorned her. Forks would have lost all its children if I didn't stop myself.

Willa still doesn't have that many friends, there is only one that has actually been with her since the seventh grade, Rosa Temperance. They aren't all that close but when they need each other, they're there for each other. Then there are all of her boyfriends…

I've wanted to castrate every one of those little bastards. They only wanted her for her body, they didn't care that she was brilliant or that she needed some to love her not to throw her against the wall and fuck her brains out. I might have been able to accept it if she was happy with one of them, but she never was. It was almost like every boy she went with somehow made her more and more depressed.

I watched her toss in her sleep as she rolled onto the other side of my bed, her arm hanging over the side and I was shaken from of my thoughts. She has never been a calm sleeper. I'm supposed to be sleeping downstairs on the couch, but I still can't bring myself to leave her side. Jake and Sam had lifted the standing order I begged for and I was bombarded by everyone calling me an idiot. Needless to say they only made me feel worse.

I had been seriously thinking about contacting Edward and having him pop into the area and just peek into her head, just so I can get an idea of how this whole thing is really affecting her. If the fit she had three days ago was any hint then I'm in for a lot of trouble.

"I hate it when you watch me sleep. It's creepy." I heard Willa mumble from the pillow. She rolled onto her back and sat up, leaning against the head board and looked at me through sleepy eyes. "Sit," She ordered patting the spot next to her.

I walked over to the bed wordlessly and sat next to her so our shoulders were touching.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she looked at me.

I looked down at her hands and grabbed one, lacing my fingers through hers and stared at her tiny fingers before I got the guts to look her in the eye. "You know I didn't do what I did to hurt you, right?" I asked quietly.

She looked at me sadly for a moment before she nodded her head smally. "I know," she murmured and wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my cheek on the top of her head.

"You really know how to make me feel like crap for getting mad at you." She said with a sad laugh.

I hugged her instinctively. "It's a skill of mine." I tried to say jokingly, but even I could hear the misery in my voice.

"What are we going to do now?" She asked confused.

"Whatever you want." I said truthfully.

"Could I please have some input from you?" She asked desperately. It was a comfort to know she was as lost as I was.

I didn't have to think long about what I wanted to do. "I wouldn't mind if you stopped with the excess of guys." I said as calmly as possible.

"I can do that." She said nodding against my shoulder. "No more three day excursions without contact." She said sternly, jabbing me in my side with her finger. I winced playfully.

I pinched her hip and she squirmed next to me for a minute before slapping me. "Deal," I said smiling.

A silence fell over us awkwardly and Willa quickly filled it. "This is going to be really weird isn't it?" She asked biting her lip.

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Trying to be friends even though we both know we're meant to be more than that." She said rolling her eyes.

"Willa, you already know I'll be whatever you want me to be." I pointed out.

"I know, but incase you haven't noticed, I'm a horny teenager and you're ridiculously gorgeous. That really only ever has one outcome." She said knowingly. She had a point there. She was only sixteen but I was already having some 'adulterous' thoughts, as Sam would say.

I knew exactly what I had to do with my Willa. "How about this, we do the whole friends thing until you graduate high school, then we'll work from there."

She pulled away from my shoulder and looked at me with a raised brow. "You do know I'm only seven credits away from graduating right?" She asked amused.

"Willa I know you organize your shoes by heel height and that you only shave your legs in the kitchen sink. There isn't much about you I don't know." I said feeling a little proud of myself.

She frowned and her brows knitted together. "You make me sound like a freak." She said disappointedly.

I snorted. "You are a freak." I said before I could stop myself. She made a noise somewhere between a scoff and an indignant cry and started smacking me. While I laughed and let her try to abuse me, I could help but notice that I hadn't been this happy in a long time.

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	4. It's Not You, It's Him

AN: HI! Sorry this took forever. School. Moving. Two Babysitting jobs. It all leaves very little time for writing. I lost ten pounds though, so, YAY! I know this isn't very long, but it shows how dedicated Willa really is to Seth and I hope you like it. Thanks for all the reviews! Ninety-one for just three chapters, that's crazy! I'll be updating To Be Without next and I will switch off between the two. I'll try to update one every two weeks. Thanks for being so awesome! Enjoy!

Chapter Four

It's Not You, It's Him

Seth is probably the one person in the world that can make me feel better by smiling at me. No matter how angry I am or how upset I am, one well aimed grin and I don't care, all troubles are forgotten. Mostly because I turn into jelly, but still, it's impressive. No other man in the world has been able to do that. My dad has been able to calm me down with a kiss to my forehead and soothe me instantly with a hug, but he is after all my dad, he doesn't count. So it doesn't really surprise me that I have no resentment left in me to hate him for what he's been hiding from me for years.

Five days after I first arrived at his place to wait for him Seth finally took me home. When I got there Claire was missing as well as some of her stuff. Dad told me Quil took her up to the Makah Rez to visit the family up there. He had a grin on his face while he said it and I hugged him instantly. I'm forced to love those people, but God, I hate them.

"Did you at least warn her?" I asked with a grin. Poor Claire had _no_ idea what she was getting into…

"Nah, she'll be fine." He answered some-what confident.

"If she comes back with blood on her hands, it's your fault." I said seriously with a pointed finger to my father.

"You think Quil wouldn't do it first?" He asked grinning.

"Touché," I said impressed. He definitely had a point there. Quil would kill our stupid cousins before they started their shit. "I need to go unpack." I said brushing passed Dad and toward the stairs with my bag.

"I'll help." Seth offered quickly and almost desperately, racing up to me and taking my bag from me.

"Seth, could I have a word?" Dad was tight lipped when he spoke. He rarely ever got this wound up.

"Oooh, you're in trouble." I sung quietly as I took my bag from his hands.

He grumbled something under his breath at me and turned on the steps. "Sure Jeff," He said a little defeated.

I normally would have tried to listen in on the conversation but I needed to get into my room. I hadn't been in there for almost four days and I missed it so much. That and I needed out of the clothes I was in. I've had to rewash these twice, I need to wear something else.

I changed into something a little more comfortable and still just as black when my phone started to ring. I expected Dana, but it was Devon, the cretin that got me pregnant. Of course he didn't know about the now gone baby but it doesn't make him any less guilty. He had already left like fifteen voice mails while I was at Seth's house and as much as I wanted to ignore him yet again, I picked up the phone anyway.

"What Devon?" I asked irritably as I flopped onto my bed.

"Hey Sweetness, I was starting to get worried." His deep voice said with fake coolness.

"You were worried two days ago, you said so in a voice mail." I spat rolling my eyes.

"Oh," He muttered dumbly.

"What do you want?" I asked irritated.

"Wanna come hang out under the bridge with everyone?" He asked hopefully. Yes, spending my time with a buck of idiots around a bridge sounds lovely. Why don't I push them off it while I'm there?

"Not really." I grumbled.

"Come on, we can have some fun. Make up sex." He was practically singing as he said it.

The thought of sleeping with him did have its advantages. Devon is dumber than a sack of bricks and hotter than a Brazilian soccer player. But I did promise Seth. "I'm not in the mood." I answered firmly.

"What're you talking about? You're always in the mood." He was trying to sound sexy and it wasn't working. The mood is ruined whenever a guy tries to tell me what I want or what I should do.

"I said no." I growled.

"Alright, fine." He snapped. "What the hell crawled up your ass?" He asked bluntly.

I let that slide. "Meet me at the gas station on the edge of the Rez in twenty minutes." I ordered him.

"Ew, Babe, I hate the smell of gas." He whined like a little baby.

I hung up on him then before I went psycho on my poor phone. After that I went through the contacts list and started deleting every guy I knew Seth wouldn't be keen to see me with. Or that I didn't like. You're probably thinking I've turned into a softy, but I haven't. I just finally got what I wanted so know, there really is no point for all these dumbasses to be in my phone.

I dumped my dirty clothes in the hamper and slipped on my black converse and walked down into the living room. Dad was gone and Seth was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. His hands fell to his lap and he looked up at me with his puppy-dog eyes he always had whenever he was sad.

"Guilty trip?" I asked sympathetically.

"Just a little one." He sighed, using his fingers to make a little motion.

"He's a bastard like that." I said patting his shoulder comfortingly. He nodded in agreement. I almost felt bad for him, but by the way he was looking at me I could tell whatever conversation they had was about me and Dad pointed out some painful points to my werewolf. "I'm going to the gas station, wanna come?" I asked hopefully. I really didn't want him moping after all the work I've done for the passed few days.

Seth nodded. "Sure," He mumbled as he stood.

I walked out of the house with Seth on my tail and he let me drive without issue. We've had that fight so many times he knows when to just let me drive and when to not let me drive. I let Seth pick the music as we drove to the gas station.

"Find five dollars, I want snack cakes." I ordered as I pulled onto the main road.

"I may loose a finger you know." Seth grumbled under his breath as he started looking down by his feet.

"Nah, I took all the knives out last week." I said with a wink. He knew I was being serious about that and rolled his eyes and mumbled something.

He searched around his feet for a few minutes and then twisted in his seat and started looking the back. About five minutes later he resurfaced with a fist full of change. "I've got three dollars in quarters, and look." He said triumphantly and pulled a bill out of the mass of change. "A twenty dollar bill." He said grinning.

"Awesome, we've got lunch now." I said smiling broadly.

"Yeah, nothing says lunch like Twinkies." He said shaking his head.

"Zingers." I corrected. Yes, there is a difference. Zingers are far better.

Seth chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Chocolate or Vanilla?" He asked knowingly. I hated the strawberry ones.

"Both." I said simply.

"Junk food junky." He muttered.

"Look whose talking! You put away a whole cake last month!" I yelled indignantly.

"I was hungry." He stated with a shrug.

"Right," I sighed, rolling my eyes.

The rest of the drive wasn't long and Devon's little BMW was already parked in the corner. I parked on the other side of the little gas station-slash-convenience store so there was less of a chance of Seth crossing paths with my latest jackass.

"Go get the goods." I ordered as I took my cell phone out of my pocket and checked my text messages. I noticed Seth open his mouth as he took off his seat belt and I answered the question he was about to ask. "I want a Coke." I said quickly.

"Anything else m'lady?" He asked trying to sound regal.

"Bite me," I growled.

"Later." He said thoughtfully.

Seth exited the car in his usual inhuman grace and strode into the store. When he was busy looking at sweets I got out of my car and walked over to Devon. The idiot was six foot even with a lean body, golden skin, short but still luscious brown hair and dark green eyes. Like I said, gorgeous and dumb.

"Hey Babe," He said grinning as I stomped up to him. He tried to reach out and hug me.

"Touch me and you will eat your fingers." I snarled taking a step away from him.

His good mood quickly soured. "So, why are we here?" He asked angrily.

"We're not going to see each other any more." I told him simply and firmly so even his dumb ass could understand.

"What?" He hissed.

"You're not deaf, you heard me." I said rolling my eyes. Why did he have to make this more dramatic that it was?

"Why?" He asked pouting.

"You see the giant Quileute in there?" I asked turning and pointed toward the check out counter where Seth stood as he sorted out the drinks and snack food.

"Yeah," He said shortly. I could feel the jealousy in his voice.

"That's why." I answered.

"What is he, you're boyfriend?" He asked, spitting a little, holding his nose higher. He could wear my shoes and Seth would still be taller than him.

"He's a lot more important to me then you are." I simplified being as condescending as humanly possible.

"You're always such a fucking bitch." He hissed lowly, taking a long step toward me, glaring down at me.

My chest puffed out automatically and I looked him dead in the eye. "Just because I'm not in my platforms don't think I can't kick your ass back to Forks, fuck-face." I warned him.

He seemed to know how much trouble he would get into if he tried to fight me. He glanced at Seth with fearful eyes then steeled himself again. "You know what, fuck you Willa." He said lamely and walked for his fancy car that I hated with all my guts.

"Been there, done that ass-wipe!" I yelled after him.

I felt Seth behind me just as Devon slammed the door of his car. Its pretty hard not to know when someone with a temperature that high is standing close to you. "Is there something I should know about?" He asked worryingly.

I spun on my heals and without looking at him snatched the bag from him. "Nope," I said half-heartedly and walked toward my Mustang while searching the bag for my goodies then saw the travesty before me. "Ew, you let beef jerky in the same bag as _my_ food?" I cried out as I pulled out the disgusting food and threw it at Seth.

Seth's eyes rolled so heavily I thought they would get stuck in the back of his head. "I'm sorry Princess, cashiers don't understand the tragedy of mixing dehydrated meat and sweet cakes." He said blankly. He has never understood my great hate for the food he loved so dearly.

"Swine, all of them." I scoffed as I got into the drivers seat.

We gorged on a few cakes before we drove back to my house. While Seth was eating his nasty jerky he asked the question I was waiting for.

"Did you ask me to come for back up?" He asked with concern.

"No, I just needed to show him how big you were so he wouldn't start any shit." I answered with a shrug. That and Devon might have needed a show of power to get our break up through his thick skull. What's more powerful than a massive Native American?

"Glad to help." He grumbled shaking his head. I reached over and took his hand that hadn't been contaminated with beef jerky and held it tightly and from the corner of my eye I could see his slight frown flip up ever so slightly.

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	5. I'll Never Make It

AN: *ducks from angry readers* DON'T HURT ME! I come with a new chapter! Look! I know, I'm such a bad girl, but thats over now, I have updated. :) On my profile I, finally, have pictures of Willa and Seth as I see them. Remember Seth is older - sorta - so the dude I picked fits! Yeah... And I also have a Harry Potter story out that you all can read if you like, I'm very proud of it and I'm letting everyone know! Thank you for all the reviews, 119 for 4 chapters is insanity, and I love all the support, so enjoy! Oh, and this is in Seth's POV, just so you know.

Chapter Five

I'll Never Make It

To see Willa actually stick to her promise was… interesting, to say the least. I had been expecting her to at least still hang around the guys, but she didn't. She blocked all their numbers, ignored them when they tried to talk to her on the street she even punched one guy when he tried to grab her. I would have destroyed that little shit head if she hadn't already given him a black eye and sent him crying.

Jeff was just as surprised and relieved as I was to find the surplus of boys disappear from his house. He still wasn't very happy that I kept his daughter in the woods for a few days, but he didn't seem too broken up about it when she announced her intentions to stop her serial dating. It definitely evened out our relationship. Well, our friendship. I couldn't think about being with her like that. I had a small goal. I could do it.

Who was I kidding? I was going to fail. Willa was too gorgeous and wore clothes that just weren't fair. How am I supposed to keep myself focused when she's trotting around in a mini-skirt?! Its damn near impossible to not watch her legs, or her butt, and then when I try to look up, she's wearing a shirt with nothing but cleavage!

She's going to be the end of me. And I'll die happy.

Since she had so much time on her hands now, Willa decided to take four crash classes over the rest of the summer. Usually you only take two or three and it's for half the day and for the whole summer. Willa is working seven hours, six days a week to get the four credits. At first I thought she was bored because my patrol times are usually during the day, but then it hit me. When she went back to high school, to graduate, she only had three classes to take. Thus giving her half a day every day.

My imprint is a freaking genius 'cause I never thought about that when I was in high school. Then again, I kind of liked going to school and I was on the Rez, not in Forks. Of course it didn't take me long to realize what she was_ really_ doing. The seven credits she needed would be down to three when she started her junior year in high school. She would have her three credits in four and a half months.

That whole promise about revaluate our relationship when she finished high school would be dawning on me within the next six months. Hell, she might even have her GED before that. Willa has always been a go-getter. I was hoping to have a little more time with Willa as just friends. Alright, so that's a bit of a lie. I was hoping to give Jeff more time with his girls alone. Claire probably going to marry Quil within the next three years, or at least that's the popular theory with the rest of the pack and the popular vote usually wins. And Willa is only sixteen! Sure, she'll be seventeen in a few months, but she's sixteen right now and its all sorts of illegal!

"It's only illegal if my dad presses charges." Willa noted while she spared a glance at me from her physics book. We were at my house, sitting on my couch while I pretended to watch a movie and she studied.

"How do you do that?!" I yelled. She does this all the time! Its almost like my thoughts are on a radio frequency and she's the only one tuned it. And that scares me.

"Please, I've known you for what, over fifteen years, you're the easiest book to read." She scoffed.

"That's not fair." I mumbled, pouting like a kid.

"Hey, you always wanted to hang around me, it's your own fault." She said snorting.

I continued making a face at her. She had a point. All my free time is spent with her, and hell of a lot of time when I'm supposed to be doing other things. I still couldn't shake the thought of the whole her and I thing. And the possibility of jail time…

"I already talked to my dad. He says he's fine with you and me so long I live with him until I'm eighteen and I go to college." She said after I had fallen silent.

"You already talked to him?" I asked trying not to sound relieved. I wasn't looking forward to that conversation, at all.

"Well duh." She said rolling her eyes. "I would have talked to my mother too but you know she hasn't shown her face around here since she tried to talk Claire into going back with her." She added sardonically.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." I mumbled sadly.

"Stop harping on that Seth, Claire and Quil were there and they're basically the next best thing." She told me flippantly.

"Still I-" My sentence was cut off by Willa in the most evil way possible.

She had leapt from her end of the couch and planted her lips on mine. Whatever statement I had was instantly made invalid.

I always planned our first kiss, and the first time we made love, would be a momentous occasion. There would be mood lighting, and soft music and I would say something really romantic. Then again I should have known better than to plan such things with a wild card like Willa. I'd have better luck predicting where volcanoes would sprout up.

Her lips were soft and full and freaking addicting. The slight contact of skin made my whole being stop and just fall to pieces. I had no control. It was all gone. Willa's small body was straddling me and I was now putty in her hands. Her hands were on my shoulders, pushing me into the couch to stop me from moving. Like I'd want to move…

Before my hands could make it to her waist she pulled away and looked at me, completely and utterly calm. "Stop blaming yourself." She said firmly.

I nodded like an idiot. "Okay," I mumbled.

Willa's devilish smile covered her lips and she leaned back down for another kiss. This kiss wasn't like the first which was just Willa pressing her lips to mine to shut me up. This kiss held more passion and want and _need_. God I needed her. I grabbed her hips and pulled them close to me, being careful to not move them anywhere near my – ahem – _area_. Knowing Willa once she got the go ahead from certain parts of my anatomy she would never stop… And I'd never be able to say no.

She laced her thin arms around my neck as she nipped at my bottom lip. My mouth fell open for her to let out a moan but her evil tongue slipped in and started a war. I threaded my fingers through her hair and pulled her deeper into the kiss. I could feel her smile against my lips as she gripped the back of my hair and yanked my head back, separating our lips.

"I thought we were just friends." She asked teasingly, leaning close to my lips but keeping them just far enough away so I couldn't kiss her.

I growled lowly as I watched her tease me. "We'll just tack on benefits." I grumbled while my chest heaved against hers.

She grinned triumphantly. "Do benefits include your Rolling Stone's hoodie?" She asked with a raised brow.

"All three of them." I promised huskily then flipped her so her back was to the couch and I had the upper ground because she was keeping her lips from me dammit and I wanted more.

Willa didn't even blink when she found herself under me and quickly grabbed my face and pulled me down to her lips. Leaning entirely on one elbow so I didn't crush her, my lips moved against hers while my hand went back to its spot on her hip and wrapped around her to pull her up to me.

Being the pro that Willa was she already had her hands under my shirt and had it over my head a few seconds later. I didn't stay away for long and instead of going for her lips, I went for her neck. The strained tendon I attacked held the ability to make Willa squirm and moan with a few well placed nips. I had a cocky smirk on my face before I could stop myself.

"Don't get cocky, that's my job." Willa muttered, grabbing my face and kissing me hard.

In the back of my head there was a very small voice telling me this was a bad idea and when Willa wrapped her legs around my hips, it got a little louder. It started screaming at me when I felt her lithe little fingers undo the button of my shorts. No matter how much I loved her, and how much I wanted her, I wasn't going to go 'all the way' with her on my couch. Not right now at least…

I jumped off the couch and sealed my back to the wall behind me, heaving like I just ran the perimeter of the friggin' country while I watched Willa closely. I waited for my drama queen to explode and explode she did.

She yelled annoyed and snapped up, glaring at me. "What now?" She hissed with her dark eyes narrowed on me.

"I'm sticking to my promise." I answered pathetically.

"Your promise is blown out the window." She countered pointing between us.

I let out a long sigh. "Willa," I tried to say but I really didn't have anything to say.

"Look! I know this is frustrating for you, but it's _really_ frustrating for me too! I just went from having sex practically everyday to _none at all_. I can't live like this!" She shrieked, pulling at her hair.

"If you graduate you won't have to." I pointed out in a sing-song voice.

"This is extortion." She grumbled like the surly little girl she is.

"Probably, I'm not sure, left my law books at my mom's." I said sarcastically.

Her eyes narrowed so thinly on me I thought they disappeared. "Fine. But you have to promise me, right here and now, that there will be no stop-and-go foreplay once I'm holding my diploma, or GED, or whatever." She snapped.

"Promise." I said honestly, still clinging to the wall behind me.

"I will hold you to it Clearwater!" She yelled, pointing at me. I laughed a little, she's just so cute when she's angry. "I'm serious! You better not be with me when I get because I will fuck you as soon as humanly possible." She said firmly. I believed every word.

I finally detached myself from the wall and walked back to the couch, flopping down where she had been sitting. "So vulgar." I said with feign admonishment.

She snorted and reached down to pick up her book from the ground. "You love it." She said knowingly. And that I did.

I attempted to watch the movie that was still playing on my TV but I was too tense. Even though I stopped what was bound to happen, it didn't mean every cell in my body wasn't screaming to dirty, dirty things to Willa. Just when I thought I had started to calm down a little Willa climbed right into my lap, settling her back against the arm of the couch and sliding her butt in the little space between. I tensed instantly and Willa sighed.

"I'm not going to jump you again, it's just easier to concentrate like this." She told me while still highlighting in her book.

"How?" I asked with a tight throat. There were only two things I could concentrate on right now and neither of them related to school or homework.

She shrugged and looked up at me. "The warmth makes me smarter." She said with a Cheshire grin.

I rolled my eyes and forced some of my muscles to unclench. "Sure." I muttered under my breath. Her bony elbow connected to my ribs and I coughed in feign pain.

She laughed a little and focused on her physics book. I had a sneaking suspicion that she could study fine without being in my lap, practically torturing me, but then again she wouldn't be Willa if she didn't do something like this. While it was insanely maddening I still didn't mind. I'd never not want her on my lap because then I'm sure she's safe and alright. She probably isn't very happy at the moment, but I think she's content at the moment.

After another movie Willa finally put down her physics book only to pick up her economics book. Seriously, what kind of summer classes are these? Last time I took summer classes I barely had any work to do!

"Can you drive me to Emily's around five, I promised I'd watch the boys for her?" She asked as she started flipping through her Econ book.

"Yeah, but why do you need me to drive, the Mustang is running fine." I said confused, pointing toward where said car was parked outside.

"Oh, because your helping." She said devilishly, batting her thick lashes dramatically.

"It's mean when you use your feminine wiles to get your way." I told her with narrowed eyes.

"It's either that or sex." She offered.

"I'll take the twins." I said quickly, trying to ignore the parts of my body that screamed for my other option.

"Alright then." She said grinning like a mad woman then looked back to the book in her lap.

I let out a heavy sigh and settled deeper into the couch, praying Willa finished her classes quickly. I knew she wouldn't stop punishing me until she did.

Watching her study with her lips pursed in thought and her eyes glued so intently to the pages made me smile beside myself. I wrapped my arms around her waist and legs and moved her so I could hold her more easily. She glanced at me for a moment in confusion, but let me move her like a little doll then rested her head on my shoulder.

Yes, I am I complete and total push over and I always will be for the girl in my lap. But I don't care because I know no matter where I'm pushed, Willa will be close by, most likely grinning evilly. Because I had the fine luck to imprint on an evil woman. And I'm cool with that.

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	6. Social Life Of An Imprint

AN: Hola! This came along with a little more ease than usual, and I'm soooo happy about that! This schedule thing of mine still has some kinks *cough*I'm-a-lazy-procrastinator*cough* but hey! I'm updating! Thank you all for reading and reviewing, your all sooooooo awesome! Enjoy! Oh, and its Willa's POV, duh. :P

Chapter Six

The Social Life of an Imprint

You know, Seth is adorable. I hate admitting that. I'm not the kind of girl that uses 'adorable' as an adjective for a boy. But Seth surpasses cute and just constantly stays adorable. It's almost sick. However, there are those few times were he is fiercely gorgeous, like when he's fighting. I love those times but rarely ever get to see them. A perfect time to see him in all his fierce gorgeousness is his meeting with Jasper and Emmett at the Canadian boarder to give some of the younger werewolves extra training since more vampires had been showing up in the area. But, of course I can't go as I am a puny human.

Before we settled the dust on our whole imprinting thing, I would have been fine, but I've got a lot of shit to make up for and how am I supposed to do that when he's leaving?!

"Willa stop being so dramatic, I won't be gone long." Seth said rolling his eyes when I stood in front of his door when he tried to leave.

"Why can't Jasper and Emmett come down here?" I asked pouting.

He sighed. "Too risky right now, we don't want their scent here unless we can help it." He told me for the fifth time.

"Ugh, fine." I hissed, stomping to his couch.

"No going anywhere a werewolf can't fit." He said as he went through the house to make sure all of his valuables were stowed away.

"Who's following me?" I asked annoyed.

"Quil is stay at your house, we already cleared it with Jeff to make me feel better but I know you love to leave in the middle of the night and sneak into my house." He said glaring at me a little.

"What? You weren't complaining." I said with a shrug.

"I was sleeping." He said flatly. So I snuck into his house and crawled in bed with him? I had a bad dream, Dana and Claire were trying to get me to eat fish sticks. That's fucking terrifying.

"I didn't know trains slept." I countered smugly. Seth snores like a steam engine rattling through an active war zone.

He eyed me with a frown. "Brady is going to be staying here if you want to sneak over." He told me with his arms crossed over his chest, making him look all sexy. Dammit this bastard wants me celibate and he's looking good enough to eat!

"That just ruins it." I grumbled, pouting.

"Why don't you do something with Rosa?" He asked tiringly.

"What am I supposed to do? Have a sleep over?" I asked incredulously.

"Sure," He said with a shrug.

"Do I look like a girl who has 'sleep-overs'?" I asked flatly, pointing to my face.

"No, but you don't look like a girl that would cry over E.T. but you did." He pointed out.

"Hey! That's supposed to be a secret!" I yelled, smacking him.

"I think you can stay occupied for a few days." He said rolling his eyes.

"Well of course I could, but I'd be in trouble in like the first three hours." I said frustrated.

He made a thinking face and then snapped repeatedly. "Go ask Emily the basics on sleep-over's." He offered. I huffed and frown. "And make sure they don't involve jail time." He added seriously.

I deflated. "God, you are no fun. At all." I mumbled.

"You could always bond with Daddy and Sissy." He said childishly.

"I'll kill you." I warned him.

He laughed and sauntered up to me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly. Three days is really long! "Stay out of trouble." He murmured while he hugged me. I sighed and enjoyed the hug while it lasted. He pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine. "Bye," He whispered.

I kissed him fiercely, just incase it was the last time, and bit at his bottom lip when he tried to pull away. He held me tighter and I let my head fall back after I got enough hug from Seth. "Bye," I sighed. He let me go sadly and walked to his car solemnly. He tossed his bag in the back and looked at me for a long moment before folding in and driving away.

Feeling particularly depressed and pissy I slammed the door behind me and stomped to my car and drove home. Claire wasn't home when I walked in the door but Dad was doing the dishes when I shut the door loudly behind me.

"Seth gone?" Dad asked sympathetically.

"Yes," I frowned, flopping into a chair.

"You're pouting like a two-year-old." He said pointedly.

I stood back up. "I'm leaving." I muttered angrily.

"Be back at ten! Claire's doing something special for us!" Dad yelled at me as I walked out the door.

"Whatever!" I yelled back, slamming the door in his face.

I drove into Forks to escape all the people and werewolves on the Rez. I easily navigated the little town to get to Rosa's house. She has a tiny bungalow she shares with her mom and all of her mom's boyfriends. Rosa's red Kia Rio was in the driveway and so was her mom's SUV. I parked on the street since it got hardly any traffic and walked up to the front door and knocked loudly.

The door opened to show Rosa. She's my height with many more curves and short curly brown hair. "Hey," She said confused.

"Hey," I said with a sad wave. "I need to stay occupied and not get arrested." I said pouting, again.

"Is that even possible?" Rosa asked with a raised brow.

"I fuckin' hope so." I mumbled. Seth will kill me if I get in trouble while he's gone.

"There's something going on at the high school." She offered with a shrug. Eh, its better than nothing.

We walked to my car and took off toward our high school. Sure, the place sucks but it'll keep my attention for a few hours and hopefully I won't get anymore criminal charges.

"So, you and Clearwater?" Rosa said with waggling brows as I was stopped at a red light.

"No, not me and Clearwater." I grumbled sourly.

"What?" She asked confused.

"It's complicated until I'm eighteen." I mumbled, narrowing my eyes on the car ahead of me.

"Then?" She asked almost knowingly.

"Then I'm boning his sculpted ass." I answered as I slammed on the gas when the light turned green and the person ahead of me had turned.

"Don't you hate being under-aged?" She asked groaning.

"More than you know." I growled.

Rosa sighed listlessly and looked at the school longingly as we pulled into the parking lot.

I knew that dreamy look. She was thinking about the man she had a crush on. The disgusting man. "Ugh! You're trying to get with our History teacher again, aren't you?!" I yelled creeped out.

"Don't judge." She snapped, smacking my arm.

"Its hard not to when he smells like an ashtray and sounds like he has a cheese grater in his throat when he talks." I said shuddering.

"He had throat cancer." She said, trying to justify all of this.

"Because he chain smokes like we breathe." I pointed out dryly. Its true, the man never stops smoking.

"Are we going to argue about our taste in older men?" She asked hotly.

I thought about it for a second. Rosa is the only person who can keep me out of prison. I'll stay on her good side for now. "Fine," I huffed and went back to looking for parking.

I drove passed two people I used to hang out a lot with before Seth asked me to cool it with the guys and they glared at me like I was burning their MP3 player. They should watch it, I'm the one behind the wheel, I'll kill those fuckers.

"You know everyone is fuming that you bailed on them." Rosa said as we passed them.

"They'll get the fuck over it." I snapped, racing around them, resisting the urge to clip them with my car.

"You really like him don't you?" She asked smiling.

"Yeah, and honestly, those idiots combined don't mean to me what one of his fingers means to me." I told her honestly.

"You cold hearted bitch." She said shaking her head with a smile.

"Yep, and Seth still stands by me." I said firmly and happily.

"Where is he now?" She asked befuddled.

"Out, stupid guy thing." I grumbled angrily.

"Yeah, men are stupid." She agreed.

"We should do something girly." I said suddenly, slamming on my breaks.

"We don't do girly." She said slowly and fearfully.

"What do women do when guys are out being guys?!" I asked flippantly.

"Slut it up and take pictures to make them jealous?" She offered confused.

"Think it will keep me busy for three days?" I asked hopefully.

"I think it's safe to say we can drag it out." She said with a somewhat sure nod.

"Alright, fuck this, we're going to the store." I said racing out of the parking lot.

"You better have money Asher." Rosa said threateningly.

"I don't go anywhere without at least forty bucks, especially after that time you all left me in Tacoma." I glared as we passed the hardware store next to the school.

"We thought you were with us." She said for the hundredth time.

"You thought I was in the trunk." I corrected, smacking her upside the head while still driving.

Rosa had the good sense to look ashamed.

We drove to the drug store quietly, hell we even shopped quietly. We had enough make up, so we bought supplies for facials and mani-pedi's. I was bringing all of my things to the check out desk when Rosa came up to me and dropped a box of hair dye in front of me. The color was my natural hair color.

"Subtle." I said flatly.

She grabbed my shoulders and looked at me seriously. "Its time Willa." She said firmly. "Seth will love it." She added under her breath.

I sighed. "Fine," I groaned, pushing the box up to the cashier. "This too," I said tiringly.

After thirty-six dollars and four bags full of beauty products we went back to my car and sorted through everything.

"So, where are we doing this?" Rosa asked. I knew she wouldn't want to do it at her house and since Brady is going to be hovering over Seth's place it takes away the surprise.

"Might as well go to my house, Claire is planning something and if I miss it my father will have kittens." I said dramatically.

"That's never pretty." She said grimly. And it isn't.

I drove home without a second thought, but couldn't help but worry about Seth. I hate not knowing _anything_.

AN: Review! :D


	7. Attempting

AN: Long time, no update, I know. I'm a terrible fanfiction writer. :( I have, however, started a new 'plan' to help me work on my stories. So far its ten-times better than all the other ones since I've updated all but two stories this week. I'll be aiming for two week updates, but I can't promise anything. I've got a lot of RL crap too, which takes away from all my fun, but I'm still working on this! Promise. :) Now, read and enjoy! Oh, if you find any mistakes let me know, I read over this without my glasses so I'm bound to have missed something.

Chapter Seven

Attempting

So, my best friend is a bit of a traitor. Claire showed up with Quil half an hour after I got home and Rosa let herself get roped into helping Claire make pasta from scratch, while Quil forced me to make half a cup fresh lemon zest with nothing but a cheese grader. My fingers now have geometric patterns. Apparently, Claire spent a few months with an Italian babysitter when she was eleven and taught her how to make pasta the old fashioned way and when she was at our grandfathers she found a pasta maker and now we're having a good 'ole Italian meal. Even though we're Native American and whatever the hell our Dad is made out of… Can we just call him a mutt and get over it?

"You're not a vegetarian, are you?" Claire asked Rosa as they worked next to each other.

"No, why?" Rosa asked confused.

"Three kinds of sausage, that's why." Claire said as she pulled out the Ziploc bags of meat from the freezer.

I snorted a laugh before I could stop myself. Quil rolled his eyes and smacked me upside the head.

"Your head is so far in the gutter, it's almost amazing." He said blankly.

"I know," I sighed proudly. "Are we finished? We have things we need to do." I asked Rosa irritably.

"Like what?" Claire asked curiously.

"Her hair is going back to her natural color." Rosa answered before I could come back with a snide comment.

"Oh, and what color is that?" Claire asked excitedly, making me gag and roll my eyes.

"It's a little darker than yours." Quil answered instead of Rosa. Which made me feel a little better that my supposed friend wasn't spilling all my deep dark secrets. It was just my big-brother-figure.

"Well, Quil can help me with the rest, go make her look normal." Claire said shooing us up the stairs.

Of all the things Claire had said in her time here, that one probably hit me the most. For most of my life I have been the definition of chaos. I've never done anything the 'normal' way. It was my choosing of course but now I was doing this almost automatically. I wasn't the same person anymore and it really scared the shit out of me.

"You don't think I'm turning normal, do you?" I asked Rosa fearfully when we got to my room.

"What are you talking about?" She asked confused.

"I've had some strange color in my hair since I was thirteen. I haven't worn jeans that weren't black, torn, or drawn on since I was ten. What am I doing?!" I demanded frustratedly.

"Aren't you a little young to be having a mid-life crisis?" She asked with a raised brow.

"This isn't a mid-life crisis!" I shrieked, stomping my foot.

"Sure sounds like one." Rosa mumbled annoyed.

"I've seen this before. I'm changing into someone else, and it's because of Seth." I said with wide eyes, dropping down to my bed.

"Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?" She asked becoming increasingly confused by the second.

"What if I like who I am?" I snapped.

"If you're going to have this identity conundrum, could you at least start putting this on my dry spots?" She asked tossing me a bottle of moisturizer.

I threw the bottle back at her with as much force as I could but she just caught it easily. "Rosa, I'm serious!" I bellowed.

"Willa, you've done nothing but talk about this guy all the time I've known you, so if you want him then get the fuck over it, but if staying a bratty bitch means more to you then drop him like a hot cake." She told be simply.

I let the tiniest thought of going back to the way it was between me and Seth cross my mind and it felt like my chest was going to implode. I didn't want to lose who I was but if I ever lost Seth again… Let's just say, no good thoughts come to mind.

"I can't do that." I said firmly.

"Then put this on my dry spots then sit down so I can start on your hair." She demanded, pushing the bottle into my chest again.

I rolled my eyes and globbed the cream she had given me on her face and then dropped down in front of her so she could start on my hair. She smacked the back of my head like I imagined she would and then the ammonia from the hair dye filled the air.

It's strange to try and work through a pivotal point in your life while getting your hair dyed. The fumes don't help either.

I hated to admit it, but Rosa was right, I couldn't have it both ways. If I wanted to be with Seth, in every sense of the word, I was going to have to change. Again.

I've been this person for half my life. The other half I spent as a sad little girl. What was I supposed to become now? Is there a special person I have to turn into to be the significant other to a werewolf? Emily would know. But if I go to her Sam will more than likely listen in because he's a nosey bastard and then Seth will find out and think its all his fault. Which it kind of is, but for this once I don't want him to know that because I don't want him to know that.

Oh Jesus, its started. I'm already nicer! Six months ago I would have told Seth without a problem but now I'm all considerate and stuff! I want Dana…

"Time to rinse, unless you want your hair to fall out." Rosa said nudging my shoulder.

I followed her to the bathroom in autopilot and let her rinse out my hair. I thought about everything that was keeping me this person, that wasn't allowing me to move along in my life and I stumbled into the same thing every time. The root cause of everything that made me a surly bitch and a sad little girl.

"Rosa, I think I might need your help with something." I said quietly while we waited for the two minutes to pass so the conditioner could soak in.

"I thought we were trying to avoid jail time?" She asked bewildered as she filed her nails.

"I have a plan, to help me sort all this out. But I'm going to need you do to something." I told her taking a deep breath.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Help me find my mom." I muttered under my breath. It felt so strange to say it, and to ask for help. I've never really done that before.

"Why don't you just ask Claire? Wouldn't she know?" She asked confused.

"I doubt she'd help, she hates her." I said shaking my head.

"Okay, but you can still try. She's your sister." She pressed.

"Are you going to help me or not?!" I snapped, frustrated.

"Not until you ask Claire! I'm not going to do the run-around if we know someone who already knows!" She yelled right back. Its why Rosa is my friend, she will yell at me when no one else will.

"Fine!" I yelled. I could tell she didn't like my tone because she grabbed my hair and dragged me back to the shower.

After Rosa roughly rinsed my hair out and put it up in a towel to dry, we started deep cleansing masks and manicures. I was still working out how I would approach Claire on the situation of our mother. No one was blind to her resentment toward our mother, hell I shared it, but I still need to talk to her about everything. I had a lot I needed to get off my chest to carry on with my life and all, which only made me angrier because I realized she's _still_ screwing up my life.

I can't even move into my own future without her. I wanted to focus on the anger and cling to it, but the scared little girl was resurfacing and Seth wasn't around to send away the monsters. Have I mentioned how this sucks?!

After we were officially beautified Rosa dried my hair and told me it looked great but I couldn't look at it. I wanted to remember my hair as it was. Rosa jumped on my bed and took my copy of Dracula and started reading.

"Go ask Claire." She ordered from behind the pages of the book.

"She's busy." I told her as I started organizing my shoes for no reason.

"Do it." She pressed with that tone that made me want to leave the room before something was thrown at my head.

"Fine." I huffed then left my room, making sure to slam the door.

I went downstairs in the same huff because if I didn't I'd just go lock myself in the bathroom. Quil was leaning against the counter next to Claire, watching her like she was building the eighth wonder of the world right before his eyes. It was almost sickening.

"Claire," I said easily interrupting whatever moment was going on before me.

Claire started putting down what she was working with. "Yeah?" She asked as she wiped her hands and walked toward me. She looked up at me and her eyes went big and her mouth dropped. "I like the hair, it makes you look more… you." She said thoughtfully.

That one statement sent me for another loop. Someone who doesn't know anything about my past or who I may or may not be, already knows how to make me feel comfortable in changing into someone else. She reminded me a lot of our dad at that moment. "Can we talk for a second?" I asked pointing to the hallway at the top of the stairs.

"Sure," She said with a nod and followed me up to the very end of the hall.

"I need to talk to Mom." I said firmly and seriously.

She paused for a long time. Agonizingly long. Then sighed and spoke. "Okay,"

"Look, I know you want to keep me away from her, but I need to talk to her." I pressed, starting to pace as I walked through the argument I planned out.

"Willa-" She said confused.

"It's not your decision to keep her from me." I told her slowly and sternly.

"But I-" I stopped her again.

"You don't think I know how much of a bitch she is for what she did?! I need to yell at her, and get all this out or I'm going to make my life hell and Seth's life and I don't want him to suffer anymore!" I cried sadly, trying not to pout.

"Willa!" She yelled once I stopped for a breath.

"What?" I yelled back.

"I already agreed." She said quietly.

"Oh," I muttered dumbly.

She smiled a little and went into her room for a moment then came out with a piece of paper. "Here's her number, I'm sure she hasn't changed it. I don't know where she might be though." She said with a small shrug then looked at me pleadingly. "Can you promise me something?" She asked desperately.

"What?" I asked confused.

"At least do it with Seth." She said gently. "Have him drive you to her or something, I don't want to you go alone." She added, sounding just like Dana and saying the same thing she would in the situation. I'd have to tell her about this later, it would make her day.

"Fine," I agreed, having to feign my begrudging stare.

"Tread lightly, she can drive you to do something you'll regret." She warned me seriously before going back down stairs.

"Nothing I haven't already done for myself." I mumbled to myself then went back into my room.

I stayed in my room with Rosa until Dad came home and we had dinner together. No one minded that Rosa stayed, which surprised her more than me. She had known my dad and even Quil for a while, but she still wasn't used to the fact that they were decent human beings. Unlike myself.

While I picked through my dinner, I thought about how I would bring this whole thing up to Seth. How I could make him understand why I needed this. And how I could get him to let me do this somewhat alone. I'd let him come along fine, but I knew deep down I needed to face her alone. The things I was going to say to her needed to be said in private. I knew he would understand, that he would agree and that he would give into my every whim. Because Seth was just flat out perfect.

AN: Review!


	8. Mother of Mine

AN: *ducks from flying objects* I am soooooooooooo sorry, this took forever. Seriously, having a job sucks. Why people do this, I don't know. I'm not taking summer classes so I am hoping to get more writing done and maybe I can finish one or two stories. Thank you all for still reading and reviewing, but the pessimistic "are you EVER going to update?" comments really need to stop. I don't mind when its in jest, or even a serious question, but when you sound like a whiny teenager, it makes me want to kill. But still, thank you for reading and enjoy!

Chapter Eight

Mother Of Mine

So, I had to wait days for Seth to come back. Talk about boring! I stayed out of trouble, mostly because I kind of locked myself in my room when I wasn't in my classes. I picked up extra school work so I could take the time off to find my mother. I had to tell my teachers that I would be gone for a little while. When I told them it was about my mother they lost any form of an argument they had and gave me a paper with what I'd need to do for two weeks.

It took three days but Seth finally came home, without any injuries or vampires. Everyone told me to give him some time to unwind form the trip, but I was already waiting in his bedroom with one of my textbooks, trying to get as much homework done as I could.

He walked up to his room and I froze. I was sitting in the middle of his bed, surrounded by books and empty food wrappers. He didn't even look surprised to see me.

"Brady said I had a pest problem." He said smiling.

"I need you to come with to find my mother." I spewed instantly.

Seth lost his smile and his eyes filled with concern. I waited for him to say something, to try and talk me out of it because he is probably the only one who could, but he didn't.

I felt awkward standing in the silence so I filled it with whatever I could. "Claire said she'd find out where she is, but she won't tell me unless you come with me." I said stiffening up.

He nodded. "Okay," He said simply and turned to his closet and pulled a duffle bag out and started shoving clothes inside of it.

I scrambled off of the bed and ran up to him. "You're not going to argue?" I asked shocked. I had been planning a speech for him, I had pulled every possible retort he might have and he didn't even argue. I was almost disappointed.

"No, I don't have anything to argue about." He said with a shrug.

It had to be the calmest, coolest, simplest statement I'd ever heard from him. There wasn't a doubt in his mind, tone or body language. I could read him like a book after all.

"Are we leaving any time soon?" He asked confused, since I was still standing there, staring at him.

"Uh, yeah." I stammered.

"So hurry up," He said waving me off.

We gathered what we needed and loaded it into my car. I preferred mine and it did better than his did on trips. But it really wasn't much of a trip. I just kind of wanted something to rub in my mother's face that I got without her.

We got into the car and started driving toward the highway and I was staring to settle into the fact that I was really going to face my mother when he veered away from the path.

"What are we doing?" I asked annoyed, starting to regret letting him drive.

"Clearing this trip with your dad." He said casually.

"What?" I hissed.

"I'll take you wherever Willa, but only with his permission." He said seriously.

"This is stupid." I grumbled, slipping down deeper into my seat.

"You'll be fine." He said rolling his eyes.

It didn't take very long to get to my house. I didn't want to be there. I had already spoken to Claire about it and it seemed to be enough in my mind then again, Seth was generally my conscious, whether I liked it or not.

Seth strode into my house, like it was his own, and smiled at my dad while he lounged on the couch in front of the TV. "Hey Jeff," Seth said casually.

"Hey Seth, how was the trip?" My dad asked, managing to look away from the TV for a second.

"Not bad." Seth told him with a nod.

I rolled my eyes at the niceties and moved Seth out of the way. "He wants to know if you'll let me go to find Mom." I said bluntly.

"Oh," My dad muttered.

"Answer him please." I asked annoyed.

"I'll take care of her Jeff," Seth said honestly and gallantly.

"I don't doubt that Seth," My dad said as he shook his head and stood.

He walked right up to me, I had to look up at him because he was still taller and I was just in my black rain boots.

"I want daily updates, I mean it Willa or I'm sending the cops after _you._ He'll be the victim in my story and you'll be locked up. Do you understand me?" He asked seriously.

I almost laughed just thinking about that outcome. "Yes," I said with a nod.

"Alright," He said with a long sigh then pulled me into an awkward hug. I wasn't good with hugs, but I obliged him for the moment. "Good luck," He whispered to me before he let me go.

"Thanks Dad," I said quietly.

Seth gave my dad another nod and then we left the house. I didn't need anything else because I had most of it packed and ready in my car since Claire agreed. Seth beat me to the driver's seat again and I plopped into the passenger seat.

"Don't look so annoyed, he's your dad, its his job to protect you." Seth said rolling his eyes at me.

"Not from my own mother." I argued.

"Well she up and left thirteen years ago with your sister and left you, yeah, he can still protect you from her." He pointed out.

"Are you on his side here?" I asked, turning in my seat, getting ready to punch him out of frustration.

"We have a lot in common." He said diplomatically, only making me want to hit him more.

"Like what?" I snapped.

"We both want you happy and safe." He said sweetly.

"Don't get sappy on me now." I said with a snarl. I didn't want to be turned to mush from his sweet words.

"Are you going to be okay Willa?" He asked seriously.

"Yes, I'll be fine, stop worrying." I groaned, getting more and more tired of people thinking I was going to break at a moment's notice.

"You're going to face your mother about everything she did to you, its not something that you take all that casually." He tried to point out logically.

"I said I'll be fine." I grunted.

"I'll let it drop for now, but just think about it, okay, and if you're not ready, then we'll go back." He told me.

"Just drive Seth." I grumbled, slinking lower into my seat and staring out the window, looking away from him. He knew what I knew deep down. If this didn't go right for me, I was only going to be more fucked up but it wasn't going to stop me.

He did drive, we managed to get into Forks before he stopped, again. This time it was at a diner. I was going to explode very soon.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked fuming.

He opened his door then turned to look at me. "Unless you want me to pee on the dashboard…" He trailed off.

"Ugh! Fine, go!" I yelled, pushing him out of the car.

I counted the seconds it took him to 'relieve himself' while pondering violent and cruel things to do to him for making me wait even longer. I was on my second scenario with a wood-chipper and fire when he came back. Instead of going back to his seat, he opened my door and leaned down to look at me.

"Hungry?" He asked coolly.

"No," I snarled.

"Okay then," He said with a shrug then shut my door and walked back to the diner.

I threw my seatbelt off and jumped out of the car. "Seth!" I screamed over the cars he had covered.

"I'm eating, with or without you." He told me simply as he continued to walk.

I stopped for a moment and thought about hotwiring my own car and just leaving him when my stomach growled. I shut my door and then stalked up to him and resisted the urge to throw him into a wall. "I might kill you before this is over." I hissed at him while he walked me through the dining room.

"Why, because I'm making you eat?" He asked with a grin.

"You're slowing us down on purpose." I snapped as he took a seat in the corner, I dropped into the booth and glared at him as he sat in front of me.

"Willa, I've known you almost all of your life, I would never have a chance to try to stop you or slow you down. But you do need food and water. I promised Jeff I would look out for you and this is what it entails." He told me simply.

"Fine," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Stop sulking, you look like a toddler." He said rolling his eyes as he looked at the menu.

I didn't even look at what they had, Seth already knew what I liked and would order me something no matter what I did so it was futile. I glared out over the people of the mediocre establishment and wished Seth wasn't all-knowing and invincible.

"What can I get ya'll to eat?" The entirely too perky older woman asked us. I shut my mouth and dropped my head onto the table and let Seth do all the work.

After lunch, which I just scarfed down the burger Seth ordered me and he ate my fries, Seth got milkshakes to go and we went back to my car. That's when I realized I didn't have the address from Claire, I took out Seth's phone from his pocket and dialed Quil. HE was more apt to answer Seth than me

"Seth, what's up?" Quil asked happily.

"I need to talk to Claire." I said firmly.

"Willa, don't you have your own phone?" He asked tiringly.

"Don't you have your imprint?" I asked snidely.

"Willa?" Claire asked confused, a moment later.

"What's mom's address?" I asked quickly.

"Where's Seth?" She countered.

"I'm calling from his phone, is that not proof enough?" I asked annoyed.

"No," She said simply.

I groaned and shoved the phone into Seth's hand. "Hello?" Seth asked cheerfully. "Oh, hey Claire." He said nicely.

"Get the address!" I yelled at him.

Seth looked at me and huffed. "Yeah, I've got her." He said with a sigh as he took a notebook I had tossed in my car with a pen and scribbled something down. "We'll talk to you soon." He said before he hung up the phone. "That's the address." He said as he handed me the notebook.

I stared at the address for a while. It felt like I had just gotten the key to a vast and dangerous treasure. Almost like I wasn't supposed to have it.

"Do you know where it is?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah," He said with a nod.

"So what are we waiting for?" I asked impatiently.

"Willa-" He started, seriously.

"No! Stop trying to talk me out of this, just get me to that address." I ordered, shoving the notebook back at him and putting my seatbelt back on.

He looked a little depressed at my attitude and I felt a ping in my chest for putting that look on his face. "Okay," He said quietly and started driving, again, toward the highway.

It was a deathly quiet drive. Not that I wouldn't have talked, but it was mostly from Seth. Everything in his body language told me he did not want to go through with it. I really wasn't even mad anymore, now I was just anxious. My chest felt like I had a million pounds resting on it and I couldn't take a breath without feeling like it was crushing me even more. I didn't know if it was about my mom or Seth, but the twist I got in my gut every time I looked over at Seth knew the answer.

The trailer park my mother resided in at the moment was still in Washington, but closer to Seattle then Forks so the drive wasn't a quick one. It was a nice place, kind of reminded me of Port Angles in a way. In the park, Seth drove to an empty lot and parked. I recognized the red truck two lots away. I got out of the car and Seth followed.

"Now or never." I heard Seth say from behind me.

"I thought you didn't want me to do this." I said as I turned to look at him.

"I don't because I don't want to see you hurt, but this is still something you have to do for yourself." He said knowingly, but with a sad look in his eyes. He leaned down and kissed me, softly and sweetly and all of my crappy feelings melted away.

I swallowed hard and turned from Seth to the trailer and started to walk. I heard Seth following me, and I didn't mind. It was nice to know he was there if I needed him to get me out, or hide the body. However this turned out.

At the trailer, there were fold out steps leading to the only door. I stopped and took another breath as Seth leaned against the trailer a few feet away. I knocked lamely at first, then with more force until I heard movement from inside and then I froze.

I hadn't gotten this far in my mind, and I didn't even know what I should say when she opened the door, but I really didn't have to worry about that. When the door opened my mother, still beautiful, looked at me worryingly.

"Willa, what are you doing out here? Does your father know?" She asked panicking.

It was weird to actually have my mother, my real mother, in front of me, concerned about me. "He let me come out. Claire gave me the address." I said feeling smaller by the second, mostly because she was three feet higher up than me.

"It's not safe for you to be out here alone." She said shaking her head.

I glanced at Seth from the corner of my eye, because she hadn't seen him yet and he shook his head. He had seen most of her fury first hand. "I just wanted to talk to you." I said, trying not to draw any attention to the giant man leaning against her trailer.

She looked at me for a long minute before she moved aside. "Come in," She said with a small smile.

I hauled myself up the stairs and shut the door behind me. I could see Seth freaking out in the back of my head.

"Willa, you are so pretty." She said with a happy sigh.

"Good genes, I guess." I said with a shrug. I had a million people tell me that, it wasn't going to change anything coming from her.

"Why are you so hostile?" She asked sadly.

That was the can of worms I didn't want her to open. "Why wouldn't I be? My mother left me when I was a toddler and took my sister with her." I snapped.

"I didn't leave you." She tried to tell me.

"Why did you leave?" I asked confused.

"_Them_!" She hissed.

Was I expecting a different answer? Yes, I really was. Even though I had seen it first hand and Claire already warned me. I expected it to be different. "Seriously! _They_ are the ones that took me to school while my father worked, by himself, to support us! _They_ are the ones who took care of me when I was sick! _They_ went to my stupid school play! All of them!" I yelled, tears coating my cheeks. "Dammit woman, they were my family when you left. They are my family now. And they always will be." I said firmly, blatantly

"Oh, no, not you too." She said as her breath stuttered. "Darling, if I had known it happened to you too, I would have taken you with us." She said almost in tears as she tried to pull me into a hug, but I wrenched myself away.

"Are you on fucking crack? You are so ignorant that you would have left my father with Dana, what if she had been imprinted on, would you have just left him?" I asked amazed at her reasoning.

"He didn't understand, he wouldn't listen to me." She said, looking crazed as she did.

"That's because he's not bat-shit insane!" I yelled.

"We could have been a family but he wouldn't leave." She said angrily.

"So, it's his fault that you left? That doesn't even follow logical sense." I said baffled.

"You are too young to understand." She said hardheadedly.

"That's just the bullshit excuse that adults use when they know they are wrong." I scoffed.

"Do not use that language with your mother!" She tried to yell at me.

"I'm not, I'm using it with the woman who birthed me and left me." I said harshly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, I wish I had taken you." She told me sadly.

"I watched, my whole life, what you did to Quil. I would rather die, then do that Seth." I said with my voice catching, just thinking about what that would do to him. No one deserved that, but Seth was the last person on the planet that should have to go through something like that. "And if the only way you'll ever be a part of my life is if they aren't in it, then you lose." I said surely.

"Willa!" She cried out.

"No! They never gave me ultimatums, they've always been there and they will always be there. If you can't do that, then whatever, have a nice fucking life." I spat as I threw the door open and jumped down the stairs.

I was going to start for my car but Seth magically appeared in front of me and made me stop.

"Willa," Seth said softly, wiping the tears away.

My mother was out of the trailer now and lost her shit when she saw Seth. "You?" She screamed.

I grabbed Seth's hand and pulled him to my car, away from my mother. It was going to hurt him, anything she would say, probably more than he was already hurting. I wanted to drive, I felt like I needed to, so I dug the keys out of his pockets and got in the driver's seat. Seth went to the passenger's seat while my mother yelled incoherent things from her trailer.

I sped off as soon as the door was shut behind Seth and I didn't even look twice at her. I was disgusted. I was infuriated. I was on the verge of fucking crying. No matter how angry or tough I am, I am still a girl and all I could think was that my mother didn't love me enough to put up with werewolves, or to even take me with her unless she knew Seth had imprinted on me as well. I was lacking in some way that I didn't even deserve the effort.

I started crying then, hysterically. Seth forced me to pull the car to the side of the road and killed the engine, taking the keys away from me. I tried to fight him for them but he took my seatbelt and pulled me into his arms and crushed me against his chest. There was no fighting once you were in that hold.

I sobbed against his warm chest until it felt like I didn't have any fluid left in me and I just folded myself into his lap and clutched his shirt.

"Why am I always so fucking wrong?" I asked, my voice wavering close to tears once more.

Seth didn't answer, he peppered my face with kisses until my breath evened out again.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked in a whisper.

Seth knew what I meant, how I meant and about who and he didn't like my question, I could feel it in the way his fingers clenched around me. "Not to me." He said as he buried his nose into my neck so he could hold me tighter.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him because that's exactly what you tell a girl when she is convinced her mother didn't love her. Because who needs a fucking mother when I've got a tall, muscled, gorgeous, shape-shifter that would kill and destroy for me and would always love me, no matter what I did? I don't need her. I don't want her. I want Seth. I want him forever and I don't want to see that woman again if she doesn't fucking like it. Not that I care.

AN: Review!


	9. Hiding

AN: So, it hasn't been too long since I updated... Compared to my other stories. (Save Her and Smile For Me are next I swear.) But I updated all the same. I figured I should in conjunction with To Be Without because you got some information there that seemed weird without the explanation here if anyone paid attention at least. Anyway, this story needs to be caught up to To Be Without, time-line wise, and I'll be working on that as well, so expect more from this.

Chapter Nine

Hiding

It was a bad idea. Not like any of my ideas are good or anything, but this was particularly stupid. I had already asked Seth about it, he was contacting Jeff and I was crouched in my car hugging my knees while he was on the phone. By the look he had on his face when he got off the phone, I knew what the answer was without even asking Seth.

"I'm going." I said stubbornly.

"I promised Jeff I would play by his rules." He said painfully.

"But you're supposed to listen to me!" I cried, pulling at my hair.

He hadn't moved from his spot. I knew he wouldn't be able to trust himself if he did. "And if I want to see you again before your eighteenth birthday I need to listen to him!" He yelled back.

"I'm going." I said firmly, through the tears streaking my face.

"Jeff said don't bother her with this, let's just go home." He plead with me.

"I don't want my father, I want my mother! But I can't have her so I want the next best thing!" I yelled at him as I grabbed the door of my car and slammed it shut, locking it quickly.

Seth rushed to the car and tried to open the door, he could have yanked it off, but he knew I would hate him forever if he tried to stop me. "Willa!" He yelled pleadingly.

If he came along he would just drive me back to La Push when I wasn't looking and twist everything to Dana, so I had to leave him on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't worried, he's gone a farther distance as a wolf. But the look in his eyes as I drove away stung me deeply. I wondered if he would forgive me for it later and I started driving east, to Cambridge, Massachusetts to the one person in the world that would understand it all. If she didn't kill me first.

I pushed through as much as I could and ended up getting to the other coast within two days, still running of anger and pulled right up to Dana's apartment complex. She had been warned because she was already downstairs looking rather angry.

Dana was tall, athletically built with long black hair, skin like caramel and green eyes like Claire. She was damn smart too. I steeled myself for whatever was coming and got out of my car as soon as I parked next to her old Honda Civic. She rushed up to me and was at my door as soon as my foot hit the ground.

"There is a lot of crazy things you've done that I have been indifferent about, but this isn't something you can do Willa!" She yelled at me in a tone I hadn't heard from her in a while. "You can't cross the country, _alone_ at sixteen with your phone purposefully turned off!" She said poking my chest.

I threw my arms around her and was glad to see her, even yelling. She was going to be a damn good mom one day.

"Willa," She said tiringly as she hugged me back.

"She's terrible." I cried against her shoulder, not caring that I hadn't slept in days or that I probably smelled like a homeless person, or that I was in public.

"I didn't really expect her to be sunshine and roses." She muttered.

"I just expected something… different." I said with a sigh as I gathered my composure.

She pulled me away and looked at me seriously. "Why leave Seth?" She asked confused.

"He was going to drive me back because that's what Jeff said." I answered lamely. It was a little more complicated than that, but it didn't matter, I would regret that decision forever.

"He's our father, what he says goes!" She yelled.

"I needed to talk to you." I said pathetically.

"There are phones for a reason." She said shaking her head.

"He's coming here isn't he?" I murmured, slightly ashamed of what I was putting all of them through.

"He'll be here tomorrow." She said with a pointed look.

"So soon?" I said surprised.

"Seth runs faster than you drive." She snapped.

"Is he coming?" I asked smally. Feeling like I was a bigger bitch than ever my mother.

"No," She told me bluntly.

I winced. I had been hoping, but I knew deep down he probably wouldn't.

"How could you do that to him?" She said shaking her head. I had told her about what I learned about being Seth's imprint and she understood the repercussions of what I had done as well as the rest of the pack.

"He wasn't listening to me." I tried to argue.

"And you weren't listening to him." She countered my weak argument. "You can't have it both ways Willa, that's not how the world works." She told me honestly, like no one else could.

Even though she was my big sister and I loved her with all my heart, what she said made me want to hit something, because it was fucking true.

"Come on, upstairs, you smell terrible." She ordered, dragging me up to her apartment.

After a shower, a meal and new clothes while mine were being washed, Dana guided me to her small living room and made me sit on the couch with a cup of tea and a knowing look. I looked around her apartment and wondered if her boyfriend was hiding somewhere or if Dana sent him off while I was here. I hadn't met him yet and I doubted she wanted her family drama to scare him off to early.

"How's Claire?" She asked conversationally as she sipped at her tea.

"Perfect." I grumbled.

"Willa," She said chidingly.

"She's fine," I said with a forced smile.

"You need to accept her at some point." Dana said tiringly.

"I accept her, I don't like her." I muttered.

"Your opinion." She said with a shrug.

"What about you?" I asked accusingly.

"I talk to her sometimes, she is smart, just like us and but she doesn't like computers like I do. She likes history." She answered vaguely.

"I'm sure." I snorted.

"Have you been this bad since I left?" She asked me almost angrily.

I didn't say a word.

"I know you resent me for leaving, but you can't lash out at everyone else for it, be mad at me like a normal person." She told me seriously.

I almost cried. She always knew how to set me straight, and it was crazy because she was just like Jeff. They were two peas in a pod and its probably why I don't listen to him, because he's always a reminder that she is going to have her own life, away from me and I was going to have to figure everything out by myself.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"A little," I answered.

"Why?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"I wanted us both to leave, together." I mumbled sadly.

"You don't leave with someone when you want to start something new for yourself, it's something you have to do alone and I hated leaving you but I didn't have any other attachments there and I needed to do it for me." She explained truthfully.

"Why are you so smart?" I asked tiringly.

"You are smart too, when you actually try to use your brain before you act." She said shaking her head at me.

We were quiet for a while then. Dana gave me the remote to her TV wordlessly and when to the dining room table that was more her desk than a place to eat and started working. I knew it was her kind of punishment, instead of going to see a movie or talking about what we've been up to, she's making me sit on the couch and be quiet.

I watched her for a while, ignoring whatever came on while she did. She was always pretty, no matter what, even when she was working on something. Growing up, I wanted to look just like her, she was the most beautiful person around to me and she still was. The knowledge that I did disappoint her was horrible, but had already fucked up, there was nothing left for me to do other than gripe about it. I sulked on the couch for a few more hours until her cell phone rang.

"Hey Dad," She answered easily and I slunk into the couch.

I couldn't hear him through the phone, I took that as a good sign.

"Yeah, she's still here." She answered.

I waited on bated breath, hoping he wasn't giving instructions for my death.

"Okay, see you soon Dad," She said sounding happier to see him.

She hung up the phone and looked over to me. "He'll be here in two hours." She announced with a smug grin.

"He probably has a ticket." I commented sourly.

"He'll probably have worse when he kills you." She pointed out with a smile.

I shut up and started sulking.

I thought the time would drag on because of my impending doom, but with the TV on, I just started watching the mindless TV show and before I knew it there was a knock at the door and Dana was skipping to open the door.

"Dad!" She squealed.

"Cupcake," I heard our father say at the door. I grimaced and tried to disappear as I heard his footsteps near closer. I glanced up at him when I heard him stop. "There's my little Sweet-Tart." He said dryly. He was in jeans and a white tee shirt that looked worse for wear, not much better than I had when I drove out.

I rolled my eyes at his nickname for me, knowing he was just starting his crusade to make me suffer.

He walked up to me and loomed over me. "Have a nice trip?" He asked with a very dangerous grin on his face.

"Not particularly." I grumbled.

"Well that's unfortunate because it's the last one you're taking for a while." He said without any kind of remorse, not that I expected it from him.

I huffed.

"I'll get your clothes." Dana said quickly as she ducked into her laundry room, next to her kitchen and I heard the door shut. Traitor.

"Nice stunt you pulled." Jeff told me with a very unamused look on his face.

"I try." I retorted.

"Try harder." He almost growled.

"Let me get my keys." I said going to stand up.

"No need, they can stay." He said with a knowing grin.

"What?" I hissed.

"You drove thousands of miles, without any form of an adult, under the age of eighteen, after leaving the only person I trusted you to go anywhere with. That's a big damn deal Willa, your car stays here until Dana comes out to visit in two months and I don't know if I'll be ready to let you have it back." He told me, ticking off each of the points I did manage to accomplish.

My first instinct was to kick and scream and cry about how it wasn't fair, but all I could think about was that look in Seth's eyes and I knew it was. I dropped my head and didn't say anything.

I felt my dad sit down next to me and stroke the back of my head. "You hurt him bad Willa," He whispered to me.

I felt two tears escape my eyes.

"He's a tough guy and all, but that was just unnecessary." I could feel him shaking his head at my actions.

"It's what I do." I snapped sarcastically.

"No, it's what your first reaction is, your second would have been something different." He told me knowingly.

"You're not a mind reader." I tried to tell him.

He took my chin and made me look at him. "Oh, hello, apparently we haven't met, I'm your father, I've been raising you since the day you were born." He said sarcastically.

I glared at him lamely.

"That's what I thought." He said still grinning.

"Here are the clothes." Dana said as she exited the laundry room, taking much longer than she needed.

She threw the clothes at me and I caught them with enough ease. "Traitor." I snapped out loud this time.

Dana paid me know mind and walked to Dad and hugged him tightly. "I'll see you both soon, okay?" She said looking between us.

"Whatever." I muttered.

"She'll be fine, you know how teenagers get." Jeff told her smartly.

I scoffed and him and before I knew it I was being pushed out of my sisters apartment, down to my father's Jeep where I stared at my Mustang sadly and wished for once I wasn't so damn stupid all the time.

Jeff drove off as soon as the seatbelts clicked. He didn't like leaving Dana, but this was my shit today and it was apparently his turn to shovel it.

"Why didn't he come?" I asked somberly.

"I don't know, all I got was him running into the house in the middle of the night, covered in mud telling me you ran off to your sister, though I had already guess that and was packing. We haven't heard from him since." He answered.

I turned my head so he wouldn't see my reaction.

"I've already doled out my punishment, though, there will be more when we get home and I'll get to that later, but you're going to fix what you did to Seth first." He told me firmly.

The rest of the drive was silent. I was listening for the sound of wolves the entire drive, but I never heard them and it only made me feel more like shit.

AN: Review!


	10. No Apology Too Big

AN: This was painful to write but it was coming. I think this is going to be the turn of a new Willa. I am hoping to wrap this up in the next 5 or so chapters. Thank you all for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy the update. :D

Chapter Ten

No Apology Too Big

It took a little over two days to get home. I was not allowed to drive, we spent a night in a hotel then drove through until night to get back to La Push. When we got home there wasn't a welcoming committee. Quil's car was there, my guess was for Claire since she was left alone. I walked into the house and went straight to my room for a flashlight and by hiking boots.

"Quil is going with you." Jeff told me as he walked into my room.

I opened my mouth to argue, as always.

"Don't even, its non-negotiable." He told me flatly.

"Fine." I muttered and he left me alone.

When I was packed I went back downstairs and Quil was waiting for me. Claire was next to him and she only gave me a little wave and kissed Quil as he left with me.

As soon as we were both in the car he pulled out of the driveway and started down the road. "He's been on the run for the past few days." He told me quietly.

"Just take me to his house." I said tensely.

"Willa-" Quil tried to tell me how to handle Seth, which he probably did as a member of his pack, but I knew how to handle him as an imprint.

"I know what I'm doing." I told him sternly.

Quil just shrugged and we got into his car and drove to Seth's. It was empty of course but I knew he wouldn't have gone far. I jumped out of the truck and started into the woods. I knew he was following a few feet behind me. I wasn't going to be able to out run him and he was going to be on my trail until we found Seth.

My gut was churning and my heart was pounding. I could only think of his face after what I did and how he had taken to the woods. He never did that. He was always the happy one. Now he was the bitter, angry, dejected one hiding in the woods. And it was all my fault.

We were twenty minutes into the woods when I stopped. "I'm sorry," I murmured.

There was ruffling in the leaves and I heard Quil start leaving. I had found the cluster of trees that made a perfect bed for Seth's wolf form. He liked to nap there, even as a human.

I clicked off my flash light, sat on the nearby fallen tree trunk. I knew he was close, and he knew I was there and I was going to leave it to him to decide to confront me. He always ran away from it and just waited for me to get so frustrated to blow up and confront him. But I wasn't going to do that. I was going to be the one who waited and he was going to blow up at me. I needed him to yell at me and get his anger out or whatever he was feeling.

I really don't know how long I was sitting there, but it was cold and wet and I was starting to feel it. I was still wallowing in self-pity and how much of a jackass I was when my jaw started chattering. I bit my lip to keep it from making noise and curled my knees to my chin to keep my heat.

I heard a sigh and I was in impeccably warm arms a moment later. Seth wasn't wearing a shirt, and probably wasn't wearing pants either. He smelled more like dirt and anything else and his entire body was rigid. I rested my head on his shoulder and wanted to say something but I just repeated what I already said. "I'm sorry." I whispered while I basked in his heat.

He was painfully quiet as he carried me back to his house. He didn't even look down at me. There was no playful glint in his eyes. It was worse than seeing some die. He wasn't Seth. I was almost reduced to tears when he walked into his house and put me on the couch before turning his back on me and walked for the door. I could feel my sobs clawing up my throat but I bit on my lip. If I cried it would make him stay. I wanted him to stay because he wanted to, whether it was to confront me or kiss me. I wasn't going to use my imprint sway on him, since I had already abused it so much.

The door closed harshly and I thought my chest was going to collapse on itself, but I held it together. I deserved it and I was going to suffer. I curled up into a ball, ignoring the blanket in the corner and waited.

I don't know when I feel asleep but when I woke up I started panicking. What if I had missed him? I flew off the couch and started looking around the house but he wasn't there. The blanket was still untouched, if he had been back he would have put it over me.

I went to the bathroom then kicked off my boots and went back to the couch and faced the door, waiting. The phone rang a few times but I didn't answer it. I knew it meant Seth was probably still in the wind.

With all the time I had I was forced to think about everything. It was like torturing myself. I wasn't good enough for my mother. I had just ruined everything I had with Seth. I'm sure the pack wasn't fond of me after what I did. So all I had now was myself. I felt like running with that thought alone, it almost sounded like the only option I had at that moment. I probably would have if I didn't have access to a car. Hell, if I had my car I would have probably been in Canada by now.

I stayed folded in my spot for a few more hours, staring at the door. I didn't have any hunger because my stomach still felt like I was on a rollercoaster so I would probably throw up anything I tried to eat or drink.

I was probably on hour six when the door opened. Seth didn't even make eye contact, he strode straight past me to the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on. He was more dirt than skin at that point. It didn't make me feel any better that he was there, because he really wasn't.

His shower didn't take long and he went up to his room and put on clothes. I tried not to move, but I couldn't stop myself, I looked up to the loft and saw him walking around. He still looked so angry and un-Seth-like. I shuddered and dropped my chin to my knees and waited a little more.

He came down the stairs and I just wanted to see him smile at me but when he looked up at me he quickly looked away as he turned into the kitchen. It was getting harder not to cry.

"You're not going to say anything else?" He said impatiently.

"I said I'm sorry." I croaked my throat tight with sobs and anguish.

He stormed into the living room them. "I'm not going to get a twenty page essay to justify what you did?" He asked incredulously.

I could only shake my head.

I saw a lot in his eyes, mostly rage. It scared me. I had never been scared of him before. The cup he had been holding was thrown, it ended up going through the wall across from him. I jumped.

"I don't get any kind of explanation?" He yelled at me. "No clue as to why I got left behind to wonder why I had to imprint on someone who was never going to trust me or even love me as much as I love her?" He demanded.

I imagined that's what drowning felt like. Knowing what you have to do but being trapped, seeing everything and hearing everything but just being powerless. I wasn't lucky enough to have the sea swallow me up though.

"I haven't given you a reason to not trust me! I've been there since she left, I've put up with everything you've thrown at me for all this time, but you still had to run when I was trying to help." His chest was heaving as he told me everything and I didn't doubt that I deserved all of his rage.

I stood from the couch then and walked toward the door.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

I stopped and turned to look at him. "I can't answer any of that." I said weakly.

I think his eyes flashed red in that moment. "Why not?" He asked hotly.

"Because I don't know why." I whispered. "I can't figure it out. I'm not good at this Seth. Maybe I wanted to see Dana because she had gone through it too. She was left by our mother too. I was sure I wasn't good enough for her but Dana is so much better than me, why would she leave Dana? I just don't know why, Seth. I'm sorry." I was crying now and I couldn't stop.

Seth looked like he was close to doing the same.

I kept walking for the door. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to climb in his arms and live there forever but I felt like he needed to be alone, he was still really angry with me and I just didn't know what to do anymore. He wasn't talking anymore and I had answered what I could. So I walked out the door.

I was probably halfway down the driveway when I heard the door open and slam, I flinched and I broke down. I just sobbed while I tried to walk. Crying your heart out doesn't work with walking so I stumbled to a tree and slumped to the ground and stopped trying to hold it in. I had accomplished what I needed to and it just didn't go all that great. Things generally didn't for me.

So my life was a black hole of giant suck ass, and I wondered what was next. The pack and probably the tribe would hate me now. The pack only liked me because of Claire and Seth, that probably wasn't enough now. I really fucked myself and I still couldn't understand why I even did what I did.

I buried my face between my legs and kept on with the crying train because it wasn't something I could stop anymore. My ears were ringing, my ribs were sore and my nose was like a leaky dam. I felt something warm near my shoulder and I looked up to see Seth sitting at my side with tears streaking his face.

"Being with you is worse than self-mutilation sometimes." He said as he shook his head.

I sniffled. "Then why are you with me?" I asked miserably.

"I don't have I choice." He grunted.

Of course someone didn't just love me for me, they loved me because their genetics told them to. It felt like a trap door opened under my feet and I was still falling. I stood up and started walking away.

"Willa!" Seth yelled at me as soon as I was two steps away from him.

He was next to me in a second. "Its better if I just go, then no one has to suffer." I rushed out so that I could actually say it because I was getting ready to cry again.

"Stop!" He yelled as he grabbed my arm and planted me in front of him. "I want you to imagine watching your sister leave you and your dad walk out on you." He said slowly.

"Seth-" I whimpered as the tears started again.

"Just think about it. How much it hurts and makes you want to disappear forever and that's what it feels like when you're not there." He told me as he moved his face to my level and looked me straight in the eye. "That's just when you're not with me, not when you've pulled something, so just imagine what it's like when you run from me. What did it feel like when your mom left you?" He pushed, making me feel worse with each of his words.

"Seth, I'm sorry." I cried.

He moved closer to me and I didn't have any space away from him, looking down at me curiously. "Why did you sit in the woods?" He asked confused.

"What?" I said bewildered.

"Why did you stay in the woods for three hours?" He repeated.

"I wanted you to yell your feelings for once." I answered timidly, feeling strange for saying it out loud.

He sighed and suddenly his eyes weren't so angry any more. "I'm not forced to love you. Imprinting doesn't make me love you, it makes me want to be around you and protect you." He explained as he wiped away all the tears on my cheeks and held my face gently. "I shouldn't have said any of that." He murmured almost to himself.

"You needed to." I said knowingly. I had done it plenty of times. It was like burping, you don't like it but it gives you a lot of relief.

"Come on," He said as he turned back toward his house, taking my hand in his and trying to get me to follow him out.

"I need to go back home." I said as I kept my feet planted.

He turned to look at me. "I'm not letting you walk home." He told me without room for question.

"Please, its been a long day." I pled. I really just wanted to wallow in my self-hatred now. I wasn't ready for whatever he had left to throw at me.

Seth wasn't one to give up easily so even though I started back down his drive way he threw me over his shoulder and I was carried back toward his house. I didn't have the fight left in me to do anything. I was carried upstairs where he dropped me on his bed, took off my shoes, jacked and tucked me under the covers.

"Seth," I attempted an argument.

He crawled into his bed next to me and held me close to him. "We both haven't slept in days, we need it." He said with finality.

I didn't argue. It was great being back in his arms. He was calm again, just by the look of his face and he was right we hadn't slept in days. I was asleep in seconds.

It was safe to say we had slept for longer than normal because I woke up to two phones ringing off the hook. I didn't move much, Seth had both of the phones in his hands in a second and was sitting up, away from me to answer them. I groaned at his absence of heat.

"I'll have her back soon." He said as he held both phones to each ear, looking adorable. "Yeah, we're still in one piece." He said as he rolled his eyes. "Bye," He said brusquely and hung up both of the phones.

He looked down at me a smiled. That smile alone made all of the shit I went through, worth it. "So we've been sleeping for like ten hours." He said laughing.

I reached up and linked my hands around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He kissed me easily, without hesitation and eased back down next to me. When I relinquished his lips, I sighed. "We're going to need ten more." I said surely.

He laughed and wrapped his arms back around me. "Probably won't happen, but you can dream." He said moving his fingers through my hair.

I pouted and snuggled into his chest.

"Thank you," He said earnestly.

"For?" I asked confused.

"The whole yelling thing." He told me with a childish look about him. "I feel like an asshole for doing it, but I guess it was something I had to do." He said with a sigh, holding me close. It sucked that he was going to hate himself for what he needed to do, but thinking back on it. I hated myself for what I did.

"I didn't want all that pent up resentment rearing its ugly head later." I told him honestly.

"Can you just promise me something?" He asked with the slightest hint of fear.

"I'll never do it again. It didn't make me feel better. All I got was a hole in my stomach and the overwhelming urge to throw up. Not to mention lack of sleep. Not worth it." I said emphatically as I shook my head.

He let out what sounded like a breath of relief. "That's nice to hear." He murmured as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"Anything else?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, you're royally screwed." He said almost laughing.

I winced. "I know." I had indeed mended what I could with Seth for now since trust issues take a while, but my dad would not be so easily won over.

"I'm guessing you don't have a car." He said knowingly.

"Not at the moment." I grumbled.

"If you're lucky I'll let you borrow mine." He said with a troublesome grin.

"I like wolf transportation better." I said with a smirk.

He chuckled and leaned over me to kiss me soundly. It was a nice way to spend a very rainy, cold day.

AN: Review!


	11. Graduation

AN: Long time coming but it was needed. Also in conjunction with a new chapter of To Be Without, check it out! Thanks for the support, hope you all enjoy. :D

Chapter Eleven

Graduation

The thought of finally being out of high school was a distant dream months ago, but now I am done. I have my diploma, without a ceremony but I'm fine with that, and I can go on with my life. I had to speak to my guidance counselor before I could officially get my diploma for some ungodly reason, but I followed orders and went down to the school, five days before school was to actually start.

"Well Willa, I can't say I'm sad to see you go." The old Mrs. Hutch said with a sigh as she stared at me across her desk.

"Yeah, me either." I said with a smile.

She shook her head. "I have to tell you about your options after this, so just sit there and look interested." She said just before she started rattling things off for college. I didn't much care and just stared at her blankly. I had already done this. And for Claire too. "Got it?" She finally asked.

"Yep, college good, drugs bad." I said with a nod and reached for my diploma.

She rolled her eyes again before handing me the paper. "Congratulations Willa, you're free to join the world. God help us all." She groaned.

As soon as the paper touched my skin, I bolted. I ran out of the school and into the parking lot with the joyful cries of only someone who never had to step foot on school property against their will again. I ran out and leapt into Seth's arms, who caught me easily.

"Take me away from this place." I ordered.

He laughed at me and carried me to the passenger side of his car. "Of course, my lady." He said smiling. He opened the door easily and dropped me into the seat.

I watched him walk around the car, trying not to imagine him without his shirt on because I didn't need to be horny when I went home to the impending party that was there. "Do you want to change before we go to Emily's?"

I looked down at my outfit. I was in just jeans and hoodie. I would probably need to change to avoid Nessie and Alice dragging me away and forcibly removing my clothes and replacing them with 'appropriate attire' for this party of mine.

"Yeah," I grumbled.

Seth chuckled at me. He already looked good, so he didn't need to worry. He drove me back home and when I got there only Jeff was home.

Seth came in with me and went straight to the kitchen while Jeff was lounging on the couch, watching TV, looking dressier than normal. "Dad, can I pay you to hide me?" I asked pleadingly.

"With the money I gave you?" He asked with a raised brow, not looking away from the TV.

"Yes?" I said hopefully.

"Nice try, Alice came by earlier and left an outfit on your bed." He said as he motioned flippantly to the stairs.

"Really?" I yelled, stomping a little. I was _going _to make the conscious effort to look presentable without her.

I stomped up the stairs and went to my room. Claire was at Emily's getting ready for the party with practically everyone else which left Seth and Jeff on babysitting duty to make sure I actually went to the party.

On my bed was a red dress, squared at the shoulders that was just longer than mid-thigh. There was a pair of chunky black, suede heels and some makeup next to the dress organized in order of how they would be applied. I groaned and got to work.

I was ready about thirty minutes later, I did look really good but I still would have liked to have picked my own outfit. I went down the stairs and Seth and Jeff were waiting for me.

"Don't you look like a proper young woman." Jeff said with a smile.

"Don't go all mushy on me, okay." I ordered.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the house with the both of them on my tail. I had to sit in the back while Seth sat up front with my father as we drove to Emily's. When we got there, there were only a few cars but that really didn't mean much since I knew almost all of the people there had super abilities so the number of cars had no reflection on how many people would be there.

I groaned and got out of the Jeep. Jeff went in ahead of us and Seth pulled me to the side. "I know you're going to hear this a thousand times, but I really am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too." He told me, his big eyes looking a little teary.

I sniffled and blinked attempting to hide any tears that might be creeping up. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thanks Seth." I muttered.

"Now go in there and be happy." He said pushing me toward the door.

I stumbled up to the front door and barely caught myself before the door opened to show Nessie and Alice waiting. I received a group hug from the both of them while everyone else yelled out their hellos and congratulations.

I was passed around the room for assorted hugs and other physical assaults. Seth than pulled me into a seat between him and Jeff and handed me a plate of food. I got to eat a little before twenty questions started.

"So what colleges have you applied to?" Carlisle asked politely. I really didn't like being sarcastic to him because he was really polite all the time and it just wasn't fun so I just shrugged.

"Haven't decided yet." I said simply, looking over at Claire. We already planned to go to a local college but we both decided to announce it together.

"Well what ones were you looking at?" Rosalie asked. Sarcasm was fair game on her.

"The ones with classes on drug trafficking. It's a fond hobby of mine." I answered dryly.

Rosalie just rolled her eyes and turned back to Nessie.

Nessie started blabbing about her time at Dartmouth and whatever else she found pleasing. I kinda tuned it out because I was a little jealous that I was going to be staying in Washington while she got to go where ever she wanted thanks to Jake the traveling werewolf. Seth stayed close by me and made any jealousy hard to retain since he made up for everything I might be missing out on.

I was finishing telling Lena the pros and cons of becoming a stripper when someone knocked on the door. The fact that someone was knocking was amazing since almost everyone I knew just kind of barged in whenever they like because of mind reading abilities or super hearing. Paul opened the door, looking a little smug and when the door opened to show Dana and who I presumed to be her boyfriend.

He was tall and lanky with very pale skin and dark curly hair. For a white kid, he was pretty good looking. But I really wasn't going to worry about that too long because my sister was back and that meant I might get my car back. I ran at her and hugged her tightly.

"You came." I whispered.

"Why not, it's a big day?" She laughed.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Quil with a knowing look as he pushed Claire to her feet and toward our general direction. I reached out and grabbed her as quickly as I could and pulled her into the hug.

Dana accepted Claire into the hug easily and we stayed, hugging one another for a while.

"This is nice." Dana murmured.

I felt out father walk up and wrap his arms around all of us and before I knew it, it had formed another group hug. Those who had air laughed while I tried to breathe again. When we all separated we were standing in arm's length of our perspective imprinters, looking at Dana's poor boyfriend.

"Is this him?" I asked Dana, pointing at him bluntly.

Dana groaned. "It was going so well." She muttered as she put her face in her hand.

Jeff walked over to him and offered a hand. "Jeff Asher, Dana's father." He introduced himself cordially. I'm sure he was excited to have his daughter dating a human rather than a werewolf, or possibly a vampire.

"Hello, I'm Wes." The poor boy responded, sounding a little shaky.

I felt Seth lean down as he resting his hands on my shoulders. "Be nice. She likes him, or else she wouldn't have brought him." He whispered to me.

"That doesn't mean I like him." I muttered back.

"It means you'll try or I'll carry you out in the not so pleasant fashion." He responded firmly.

I huffed and didn't say anything else. It wasn't like anyone would stop him.

Everyone was introduced to the boyfriend and the cover stories were used. I could tell Dana was relieved that we all fell into our roles easily. Dad was smitten with Wes since he was majoring in automotive sciences. He did well with most of the guys and almost all of the girls were quick to treat him well.

"He's skinny." I complained to Dana when she asked what I thought of him.

"That really shouldn't concern you since I'm the one that sees him naked." She said with narrowed eyes.

I tried not to gag at the thought. "But what if he needs to protect you." I pointed out.

"I have a black belt." She said rolling her eyes.

"That's not the point." I argued.

"Willa, stop it, he is very important to me, so there better be a real reason why you don't approve." She told me angrily, using her logic on me again.

"Its weird, a normal regular relationship." I said honestly.

She laughed. "I know, I don't know what to do with it either." She said shaking her head.

Claire walked up next to us looking nervous. "So when did you want to announce?" She asked, leaving off a word I knew she wanted to say.

"Oh, that." I said offhand.

"What?" Dana asked suspiciously.

"Nothing life threating or ending." I said easily, rolling my eyes at her.

I walked over to an empty chair at the back of the living room, looking over the rest of the room and stood on it. A few people were looking at me like I was nuts but not everyone, so I whistled loudly.

"Thank you for your undivided attention." I said loudly.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me expectantly.

"Alright, Claire and I have an announcement to make." I said to the group of eager eyes.

I looked down to Claire, who was close to blushing, to supplement. "We are going to college next semester, together." She said without completely falling all over herself.

There were was a round of applause and some clapping and even some cheering from Quil and Seth I'm sure. Claire completely blushed as Dana hugged her again and I rolled my eyes at the commotion until Seth rushed up to me and threw me over his shoulder for an awkward congratulation.

I had to laugh then and laughed for a while until everything stilled and Seth put me down and I was faced to the front door opened to my mother.

She was holding a brightly colored bag and a remorseful smile. I felt Seth's arm tightly grasp me and I knew Willa and Claire were near with each of their significant others around them. Wes had enough of an understanding of what was happening to stick himself to Dana's side.

I wanted to say something but before I could, my father pushed through us, looking stern. "You always knew how to crash a party Hannah." He said casually, making her confidence falter.

AN: Review!


	12. To Forgive

AN: I'm on a roll because I'm procrastinating from the papers due and the best way to avoid writing is with writing. About four more chapters and then this puppy is done. Same for To Be Without. Thanks for the patience again guys. Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Twelve

To Forgive

I was staring at my mother for what felt like hours when Claire and Dana pulled her out of the house. I wanted to follow and I think I started to in a blind rage when I felt Seth and my dad stop me. Really Seth stood in front of me and Jeff held both of my arms behind me.

"I think Claire can handle her for now." Jeff said surely. "She'll give you what's left over." He said surely.

"That's not fair." I ground out.

"Dana has yet to have her moment, let it be." He pushed as he handed me over to Seth.

Seth wrapped his arms around me in a hug/werewolf lock. "Fine." I grumbled.

I was sitting on the couch with Seth while watching everyone else react to my mother showing up. Emily wasn't handling it well, Sam was trying to comfort her and my dad was actually talking to Wes while Dana was getting her fair punches in.

I maintained myself as well as I could with Seth but I was still seething. She had no right to show up. Not after everything she said to me about Claire and about Seth. I didn't want her here at all.

It didn't take very long for Dana to walk into the house with our mother at her back. Wes looked relieved but no one moved.

"Jeff, Willa, could I speak to you please?" She asked with a little hint of fear in her eyes.

I wanted to launch into a tirade but Dana silenced me with a look of death. My dad walked up to her and motioned me. Seth let go of me begrudgingly and I stood next to Jeff.

"What?" I snapped.

"Alone." She added.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed as I stormed through the house to the back porch. My dad followed close behind me and Hannah followed far behind. By the time the door closed it was just us three and I was sure that Dana was out in the party working her magic on them.

"What?" I repeated.

"You both deserve and apology." She said solemnly.

"Better watch out, I might die of shock." I hissed dryly.

"Willa," Jeff said warningly.

"No Jeff its fine I deserve it." She said as she crossed her arms in front of her and held her head down.

"You don't get to be the fucking martyr!" I yelled.

She didn't say anything, it was almost like she was waiting for me. But really I had said all I needed to before. She took in a deep breath. "I want to be a part of your life." She said surely.

"The one with Seth." I asked dryly.

"Yes," She said firmly.

"The one where I am a part of that pack of monsters you hate so much." I said again.

"Willa-" She tried to say.

"I just want clarification to make sure we're on the same page." I said quickly and smugly.

"I know that if I want a relationship with my daughters I am going to have to accept their choices, no matter what and I do accept them." She said stubbornly and suddenly it all started to make sense how I was the way I was and all that.

"You don't sound like you like it very much." Jeff pointed out.

"I don't have to like it." She said almost wisely.

"I'm not going to forgive and forget." I snapped.

"I didn't think you would. I just want to be able to see you without you trying to take my throat when I spoke." She said with some kind of an impish smile.

"You're not worth the jail sentence." I hissed.

She looked to Jeff then, there were definite tears in her eyes. "What you did to our family can't ever get fixed and I'm not okay. It wasn't fair to take away my daughter and my wife." He told her without sugar coating anything. "I'm not going to stop you from seeing the girls, not like I could if I tried, but if they get upset over something you did your dealing with me. I'm not letting my girls be hurt more than they have been, its not fair." He said seriously.

"I know and I'm sorry Jeff." She tried to tell us.

"Doesn't really cut it Hannah." He said shaking his head.

"I just want the opportunity to be in your lives." She said simply.

"Fine, but don't expect smiles and tea parties." I snapped again.

She smiled a little more then. "You never liked tea parties." She murmured.

I had to maintain my angry look even though I wanted to scream more at her. I could only imagine what my dad was going through with all this and I was sure that Dana and Claire were probably all sunshine and roses but she had some pretty giant marks against her.

"I should probably go." She sighed.

"Yes, you should." He agreed.

"I'll be coming by in a few weeks, once I'm set up in Seattle." She said to the both of us.

"Whatever." I muttered.

"I am proud of you Willa, as proud of your sisters." She said sincerely.

I didn't say anything to her, because I really couldn't without crying and I was done with crying. She smiled at us and then went back into the house. I'm sure Emily had a few words for her and the others were probably holding their tongue out of respect for the family.

Dad hugged me as soon as the back door was shut. "You okay?" He asked quietly.

"No," I answered as he pet my hair. "You?" I asked.

"Seen better days." He sighed.

I gripped the back of his shirt and held onto him tightly. "This is why we shouldn't have parties." I muttered against his chest.

He laughed and I was able to relax a little, feeling him unclench. "It's a pretty solid argument." He murmured to me. He held me for a little while until Seth came out. He squeezed me and then let go. "You two should head out before we get anymore surprises." My dad said as he looked to Seth.

"Are you sure?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, go on." He said with a nod and rustled my hair.

Seth grabbed my hand and pulled me around the lot to his car. He knew what it was like for me already. He put me in the car and we drove back to his place, which I was thankful for. I really didn't want to see anyone else for the rest of the night.

When we got to Seth's he parked and scooped me up as I tried to rush into the house. He carried me up to the bedroom and dropped me on the bed and started taking his clothes off.

"I can still walk you know." I muttered while I took my shoes off.

He just shrugged at me and went downstairs to the bathroom. I took one of his shirts and changed out of my clothes and burrowed under his covers. I waited with a pout for him to come back and he brought cookies with him. He was only wearing shorts and I didn't mind, he looked great.

"Cookie?" He asked holding out the plate.

I wanted to roll my eyes at his stomach and took two cookies before they magically disappeared. He dropped down onto the bed and rested the plate on his stomach and kept eating. I snuggled closer to him and nibbled on my cookies.

"You okay?" He asked quietly. He knew better than to push it, but he was still concerned.

"I will be." I said surely. I was warm and he was almost naked. I pretty much had everything I needed.

"What are you going to do with your mom?" He asked, knowing he could prod me a little farther.

"She wants to be around." I answered curtly.

"And?" He prodded, curiously.

"She will be around." I said firmly.

"Willa." He said tiringly.

"I don't have to do anything with her." I said stubbornly. I knew Dana and Claire would probably be okay with it and be around our mother but I wasn't that easy.

Seth moved the plate onto his bedside table and rolled to look down at me and started playing with my hair. "She's still your mom, just remember that." He murmured and kissed my forehead and pulled me close to him.

His arm was now my pillow and so were his legs. I was tangled with him while I chewed on my lip. I hated when he pointed things out to me because he was generally right. She was my mother but I still wasn't going to get over the whole she left me as a child thing easily. Or the fact that she hated Seth.

I looked up at Seth's face and his eyes were closed but I knew he was still awake. He was just holding onto me because he knew how this worked. I leaned up and kissed his jaw and he smiled at little. "Still doesn't change what I said." He whispered knowingly.

"Shut up and sleep." I muttered sourly as I turned away from him.

I didn't end up very far since he just pulled me against his chest like I was some kind of teddy bear for a nice spoon formation. I didn't mind this position, especially when I was on my period, his arm was my heating pad. He kissed the shell of my ear and nuzzled at my hair. We shifted around until we were both comfortable and as soon as that happened I fell asleep because I was tired and I didn't want to have to answer all the questions about my mother anymore.

AN: Review!


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